Subway Social

Ok. Let's talk about it. Subway etiquette- rules that aren't written down anywhere, an unspeakable code with which to carry yourself on public transportation that should be inherently known, but is often ignored. Countless times I have seen people effectively ruin other people's days by choosing to exclude themselves from common decency. There are a few subway faux pas that really grind my gears. What are they you ask? Well, don't mind if i tell you...

Space Hog
Listen buddy, it's 7am, everyone is delirious and wondering why the hell they even got up for work at such an ungodly hour to get to some terrible job they hate. These people don't need you to make their lives any worse. You, leaning on the subway pole so no one else may be allowed to balance themselves as they whiz through dark tunnels underground, rocking back and forth like a newborn deer. You who sit with your legs so wide open it's as though you're performing some kind of cirque de soleil feat. You who puts their newspaper on the seat next to you instead of rolling it up and putting away like a normal human being. Nobody likes you. We are all staring at you on the subway car in sheer disbelief and disgust. You are a selfish, ridiculous piece of work. A piece of work I'd like to punch in the stomach.

The Seat Grinch
I see you standing there, eye-balling the subway car like some deranged animal, anxiously awaiting a seat vacancy that should be given to the decrepit old man standing next to you. No. No, you don't see him do you or you just don't care. Once on that train you lose respect for yourself and others and become a flagrant asshole, diving into seats, shoving innocent people, and just being a self-centered cretin.

The Loudspeaker
Not one person wants to hear your conversation other than the person you're yelling to on the phone or right next to you let alone an entire car of people. And your use of the English language is shameful and appalling. If it's not your skin-tingling use of colorful language it's the content itself- mind-numbing facts about obscure bands or a dumb story about some drunken antics the night before. NO ONE CARES HOW WASTED YOU WERE. Oh and you who are not saying anything, but are kind enough to turn your headphones up to extreme volumes so we could all enjoy the awful music that is deteriorating your ear drums and simultaneously pissing everyone off. And you're oblivious to it all, bopping your head along to some rhythm-less metal song, tapping your toes to a brainless pop song, or horrendously attempting to rap along with a hip hop song that you've learned the words to by listening to that one song on repeat for weeks. YOU'RE NOT IMPRESSING ANYONE, WE ALL WANT TO KILL YOU. So, kindly stfu.

There are more- MANY MORE inappropriate behaviors I can describe, but those are the most infuriating. I mean there's kids playing on the train like it's a jungle gym, guys doing pull ups on the bars, kids selling candy, mariachi bands, any kind of performer on the subway, train announcements about your belongings that freak out tourists, oh the list goes on and on. Stop being douche bags on the train people. Respect.





I'm out.

Subway Antics

I have not been gracing the NY social scene as of yet, considering my entire life has just been moved into an unfurnished room in Brooklyn and well, some organization is necessary. My room looks like a crack den right now, black garbage bags of miscellaneous items strewn about, full suitcases with clothing spilling out, a nest of blankets and pillows on the ground for me to sleep until I can procure a bed. It's great though, I'm so happy to finally be home. I am very pleased with my living situation and I'm insanely lucky to have such awesome roommates.


I had my first day of work yesterday- I was late. Nervous and excited, I left the house a few minutes after I planned and hopped on the train. After getting to Canal Street and running for my life towards the Q train, I slumped into the seat relieved- until, all hell broke loose. There was an announcement over the speakers, explaining the police had been called. "Oh, what now," I thought to myself, "This cannot be happening right now." It was. One plain clothes officer following a disgruntled passenger came to the car and pointed to an older gentleman who had been sitting on the train before I got on, reading with his briefcase in his lap. "That guy," the passenger with the policeman says, "Him." Without hesitation the plain clothes cop sternly asks the man to step off the train. Utterly bewildered, the man stands up and immediately begins asking what he did. Then 3 or 4 more police officers come running to assist with the obviously overpowering perpetrator. This poor man looked like someone's dad or grandfather, hardly anyone who would be wielding scissors and threatening passengers.Yes. Apparently, there was a man who pulled out scissors, "threatened" someone with them, then jumped off the train. So, the wrongly accused stood at the wall while three police officers thoroughly searched his person and briefcase, only to find papers, a plastic knife (oh my!), and a banana. The entire time they searched, the man asked that they show him a little respect, him being an elder and all, but the police laughed haughtily and ripped through the man's belongings without saying a word to him. After finding nothing, the plain clothes cop came back on the train and asked if anyone had seen anything. Silence, then someone said no. He then asked if the older man was on the train already or if he got on more recently. Someone said he'd been sitting there. The officer looked amused as he walked off the train, ordering the other officers to cease their aggressive inquisitions. Then the strangest thing happened. They all started to smile at each other. Giving the "perp" back his suitcase they told him it was all procedure, but I don't remember if they apologized or not. The older man seemed extremely relieved and told the cops he understood. I even heard laughter. WTF?!
The entire time this was happening I couldn't help but to think, he's black, that's the only reason he's being targeted. Then I thought of that phrase driving while black, and thought damn, he wasn't doing anything. He was just living while black and that's enough to almost get arrested. Maybe my view of the judicial system is a little jaded (to say the least). I'm glad he wasn't arrested, though and intrigued by the subsequent events. Also, during the fiasco, there was a couple sitting across from me frowning the entire time. The woman whispered, "police brutality,"to the man sitting next to her. I was watching those cops like a hawk, preparing myself to be a witness in a case if anything should happen, my hand clutching my phone ready to document any mistreatment. Luckily, there was nothing worthy of reporting. It was all just a big misunderstanding that caused me to be late for my first day of work. Lamesauce. Work was-interesting. The store is very different then the one I'm used to, but it was just my first day so I'll refrain from formulating any judgments.


I'm out.