I've been asking myself this question for over 3 years now, "What makes me happy?" And depending on the time of day, the amount of food in my stomach, the weather, the company, the answer(s) change. The key is finding the constant. What constantly makes me happy regardless of outside, uncontrollable factors. I have come to the conclusion that not only does happiness lie within the beholder, but in all the important relationships that have manifested, sprang up, reigned down on me in the past, ones that I hope will form in the future and the ones that I cherish now. My happiness is also affected by what I do. For a long time I've been suppressing the obvious. Negating to tap into how I'm really feeling, I just kept ignoring my feelings of defeat and anxiety- mostly annoyance, now that I think of it. Everyone says you're suppose to hate your job. It's normalcy. And I used to agree. I used to accept the inevitable and struggle through my day praying that I would eventually become numb to the incessant insanity and dehumanizing task of folding clothes, tracking numbers, and pretending to care about something so trite and ultimately soul crushing. After a series of fortunate/unfortunate events I now realize what's important. Happiness. People. Life. And actually not loathing your job and everything it stands for. Life is on the up and up minus the awful down and down of the weekend.
I'm out.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Life, Time, and Sleep
It's unnerving what a job can do to you. It's frustrating to see the very core of yourself shifting solely because of a dream that seems to just be fading rapidly in front of your eyes. It's mind-numbing how your entire day can be a ceaseless string of monotonous, painfully futile events that involve other people's conceit and incorrigible ability to be the sloppiest, most uncaring individuals. It's terrifying for me to see myself turning into a shadow of a thought in my mind- violently swirling with confusion. I need a change.
Life is amazing. I love Life, but right now Life is not reciprocating. Right now Life seems to be in constant motion, fleeing as far from Reason and Sanity as it can go, taking Time with it. Well, NO MORE! Life, you bring your wayward tuchus back here, calm down, and sort yourself out. I need Time, Life, okay? Time and I need each other in this trying period and right now? Well,right now you, Life, are being very stingy with Time. Time needs to be free and let itself just go. Time might just want to slow down and enjoy things, but you Life, you're always on the go! Life, I'm just trying to help you out. Together, we can do this. Life, Time, can I call you Lifetime? You belong to me and I need you to know that I expect great things out of you, okay? So let's do this. And while we're having this little heart to heart let's also try and give Sleep another shot, huh? I mean, it won't hurt anyone.
Man, I need Sleep.
Dedicated to a new and improved Life. ♥
I'm out.
Life is amazing. I love Life, but right now Life is not reciprocating. Right now Life seems to be in constant motion, fleeing as far from Reason and Sanity as it can go, taking Time with it. Well, NO MORE! Life, you bring your wayward tuchus back here, calm down, and sort yourself out. I need Time, Life, okay? Time and I need each other in this trying period and right now? Well,right now you, Life, are being very stingy with Time. Time needs to be free and let itself just go. Time might just want to slow down and enjoy things, but you Life, you're always on the go! Life, I'm just trying to help you out. Together, we can do this. Life, Time, can I call you Lifetime? You belong to me and I need you to know that I expect great things out of you, okay? So let's do this. And while we're having this little heart to heart let's also try and give Sleep another shot, huh? I mean, it won't hurt anyone.
Man, I need Sleep.
Dedicated to a new and improved Life. ♥
I'm out.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I Have To...
I have to dedicate at least one blog post to the insanity I encounter everyday at work. Without trying to sound like that angry sales associate archetype I will attempt to relay the endless frustrations I experience everyday... Hey, maybe this single entry will start an unprecedented revolution of retail etiquette. HA!
Let's start from the beginning of the customer's experience...
Walking through the doors. It just astounds me that people have this strange aloofness when walking into the store, "Do you work here?" they ask, after I greet them, welcoming them to the establishment, after the walkie around my waste goes off alerting a department there's a "call on line one" for said department. Staring in bewilderment, unable to comprehend such a ridiculous question I used to be taken aback when I heard it. Now? Now I just say flatly, yes, I work here, using everything within me not to emphasize this you're-an-idiot tone in every word. Sometimes I want to answer, No, I just enjoy standing at the front of this particular store, smiling, and saying "hello" to strangers. Or say, "Heavens no, I just haven't taken my medication. I assume I am imagining all of you," and then spin around in circles repeatedly, laughing hysterically.
One question that I have gotten almost everyday since I've started working in NY has been "Is there a bathroom in here?" NOOO. NOOOO. NOOO, there is no bathroom in the store, and don't give me that look of disgust when I answer your silly question. This isn't an effing Macy's. Does freaking Forever 21 have a bathroom? Noooooooo. How about the Gap? Nooooooooo. Hm, maybe American Apparel? HELL NOOOOO. So, why the hell would this place be any different?! Get a grip people.
STOP LEAVING GARBAGE IN STRANGE PLACES. JUST ASK FOR A TRASH CAN. Rogue cups of Starbuck's coffee, candy wrappers, balled up gum, empty soda cans, full soda cans, potato chip bags, Pinkberry cups, you would think you were at a gd amusement park. So many cups of coffee have been spilled all over the floor, turning into a sticky, smelly brown mess. Yes, it was necessary to give you that visual. Throw it away before you get here! Or throw it away into the garbage can that's right outside! Or ask someone who works here where to put it.*
*note I was going to interject a lewd, unnecessary joke here, but thought better of it... kind of.
The most infuriating place, I'm convinced, in ALL OF RETAIL, is the fitting room. The most despised place in the store, where no one ever wants to go. People rudely yelling for sizes, and getting pissed if there are no more- truly believing, in their hearts, that we have vindictively planned to not have their size because, obviously, our entire lives revolve around them and their wardrobe. Mindlessly/carelessly tossing their clothes at you without saying a word, people shuffle into a room and slam the door. They don't think you're a human being, no just a clothing receptacle. A giant key that will get them into a room where they can stare at themselves for several minutes, looking over each inch of themselves, relishing in their "beauty." Or they're wrapping themselves in an insecurity blanket and redirecting their self-loathing tendencies onto others in the nastiest, most unkind way.
SO many people come in giggling about not knowing how many items they have, thinking it's a fun game to play while there are 15 other people waiting behind them to get into a fitting room and they have decided to pick up, oh 387945034030450 things and be completely entangled in them, like some kind of horror movie monster. And with a smile on my face, I try to make conversation so as not to completely go off the deep-end and honestly ask why they think it's alright to walk into a fitting room with 50489509485792734 items and not buy 1 thing.
Coming in with their parents wining selfishly about a skirt they really want, the spoiled preteens, tweens, teens, whateverTF they're called are TERRIBLE. All I can hear when they come in is a dull, continuous buzzing that fills my entire body until I start shaking and sweating knowing the harsh reality that these kids are about to spend a rent check's worth of money on one outing at one store. It's painful, really haha. I can probably write a book on the numerous amounts of things that remind me of class discrepancies or stratification.
The language barrier is also a story within itself. Pantomiming stupidly to foreigners, "No, you cannot bring those shoes into the fitting room with you. Yes, I know you want to keep them to try on. No, I will not put them back. They will be here in this basket." After a few brutal minutes, the dramatic act is over, and stupidity is immediately replaced with "What the hell was I just doing?"
Oh and this is merely the tip of the iceberg folks. There is much, much more where that came from. MUCH MORE. SO MUCH MORE IT'LL MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN. I KNOW MY HEAD'S SPINNING.
And now to end with a song I have had in my head ALL DAY!
LOVE IT.
I'm out.
Let's start from the beginning of the customer's experience...
Walking through the doors. It just astounds me that people have this strange aloofness when walking into the store, "Do you work here?" they ask, after I greet them, welcoming them to the establishment, after the walkie around my waste goes off alerting a department there's a "call on line one" for said department. Staring in bewilderment, unable to comprehend such a ridiculous question I used to be taken aback when I heard it. Now? Now I just say flatly, yes, I work here, using everything within me not to emphasize this you're-an-idiot tone in every word. Sometimes I want to answer, No, I just enjoy standing at the front of this particular store, smiling, and saying "hello" to strangers. Or say, "Heavens no, I just haven't taken my medication. I assume I am imagining all of you," and then spin around in circles repeatedly, laughing hysterically.
One question that I have gotten almost everyday since I've started working in NY has been "Is there a bathroom in here?" NOOO. NOOOO. NOOO, there is no bathroom in the store, and don't give me that look of disgust when I answer your silly question. This isn't an effing Macy's. Does freaking Forever 21 have a bathroom? Noooooooo. How about the Gap? Nooooooooo. Hm, maybe American Apparel? HELL NOOOOO. So, why the hell would this place be any different?! Get a grip people.
STOP LEAVING GARBAGE IN STRANGE PLACES. JUST ASK FOR A TRASH CAN. Rogue cups of Starbuck's coffee, candy wrappers, balled up gum, empty soda cans, full soda cans, potato chip bags, Pinkberry cups, you would think you were at a gd amusement park. So many cups of coffee have been spilled all over the floor, turning into a sticky, smelly brown mess. Yes, it was necessary to give you that visual. Throw it away before you get here! Or throw it away into the garbage can that's right outside! Or ask someone who works here where to put it.*
*note I was going to interject a lewd, unnecessary joke here, but thought better of it... kind of.
The most infuriating place, I'm convinced, in ALL OF RETAIL, is the fitting room. The most despised place in the store, where no one ever wants to go. People rudely yelling for sizes, and getting pissed if there are no more- truly believing, in their hearts, that we have vindictively planned to not have their size because, obviously, our entire lives revolve around them and their wardrobe. Mindlessly/carelessly tossing their clothes at you without saying a word, people shuffle into a room and slam the door. They don't think you're a human being, no just a clothing receptacle. A giant key that will get them into a room where they can stare at themselves for several minutes, looking over each inch of themselves, relishing in their "beauty." Or they're wrapping themselves in an insecurity blanket and redirecting their self-loathing tendencies onto others in the nastiest, most unkind way.
SO many people come in giggling about not knowing how many items they have, thinking it's a fun game to play while there are 15 other people waiting behind them to get into a fitting room and they have decided to pick up, oh 387945034030450 things and be completely entangled in them, like some kind of horror movie monster. And with a smile on my face, I try to make conversation so as not to completely go off the deep-end and honestly ask why they think it's alright to walk into a fitting room with 50489509485792734 items and not buy 1 thing.
Coming in with their parents wining selfishly about a skirt they really want, the spoiled preteens, tweens, teens, whateverTF they're called are TERRIBLE. All I can hear when they come in is a dull, continuous buzzing that fills my entire body until I start shaking and sweating knowing the harsh reality that these kids are about to spend a rent check's worth of money on one outing at one store. It's painful, really haha. I can probably write a book on the numerous amounts of things that remind me of class discrepancies or stratification.
The language barrier is also a story within itself. Pantomiming stupidly to foreigners, "No, you cannot bring those shoes into the fitting room with you. Yes, I know you want to keep them to try on. No, I will not put them back. They will be here in this basket." After a few brutal minutes, the dramatic act is over, and stupidity is immediately replaced with "What the hell was I just doing?"
Oh and this is merely the tip of the iceberg folks. There is much, much more where that came from. MUCH MORE. SO MUCH MORE IT'LL MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN. I KNOW MY HEAD'S SPINNING.
And now to end with a song I have had in my head ALL DAY!
LOVE IT.
I'm out.
Friday, July 16, 2010
BK Love
So remember I said I didn't want to talk about dating in my blog? I lied. I lied straight to your face without batting an eye. I'm sorry.
Against everything that I hold true and dear I recently made an OkCupid profile in hopes of meeting new people, not necessarily my knight in shining armor, but maybe a hipster on a fixed gear- I'm kidding. Seriously though, I had no idea what I was getting myself into as I mindlessly jotted down my interests and racked my brain for (not so) obscure musical artists and books to make me sound hip and cool.
My first day on it I discovered a slew of unhappy guys who are tired of vapid, shallow women who apparently carry-on conversations solely about handbags and shoes. I wasn't sure if I should be offended or laugh at their chauvinism, but then I thought, hm girls like this do exist. They come in Urban all the time, laughing hysterically about guys they date and asking their friends if "this shirt makes me look fat." However, I cannot fully sympathize with these gentlemen for the sheer fact that they should be old enough to discern what kind of woman would better suit them. They're not 12 year old boys, seeing girls for the first time and going after the first one to sustain eye contact with them for over 3 seconds- or maybe they are and that's their problem. This one guy's profile was completely full of an instructional guide for woman looking for the "right guy." He explained that every girl on OkCupid had the same profile and suggested ways to jazz it up. Although it was well written and I don't think it was suppose to be offensive or malicious, there was an underlying patronizing tone that I did not appreciate.
Anyway, back to me.
I joined almost a week ago and have been changing my profile like my life depends on it. Fixing a sentence here, adding snark there, trying to encapsulate myself in words without sounding like a raving lunatic or an obnoxious douche-bag. It's really a lot harder than you think. No, wait. I think we all know how hard it is to write a profile. Ugh. Finally, I have stopped changing it. It's all a gamble I'm beginning to realize.
In other news...
I think I got a promotion at Urbs so I'm happy about that. Still meeting exciting new people, super happy about THAT. Summer rocks.
Umbrellas provided by Dallas BBQ. Pic taken by Z Dubbs. Fun was had. Oh and this is after Travis cut Brandon's rat tail... it was an event to remember.
EXPECT MORE UPDATES!! I FINALLY HAVE INTERNETTTTT WOOOOOO!!!
I'm out.
Against everything that I hold true and dear I recently made an OkCupid profile in hopes of meeting new people, not necessarily my knight in shining armor, but maybe a hipster on a fixed gear- I'm kidding. Seriously though, I had no idea what I was getting myself into as I mindlessly jotted down my interests and racked my brain for (not so) obscure musical artists and books to make me sound hip and cool.
My first day on it I discovered a slew of unhappy guys who are tired of vapid, shallow women who apparently carry-on conversations solely about handbags and shoes. I wasn't sure if I should be offended or laugh at their chauvinism, but then I thought, hm girls like this do exist. They come in Urban all the time, laughing hysterically about guys they date and asking their friends if "this shirt makes me look fat." However, I cannot fully sympathize with these gentlemen for the sheer fact that they should be old enough to discern what kind of woman would better suit them. They're not 12 year old boys, seeing girls for the first time and going after the first one to sustain eye contact with them for over 3 seconds- or maybe they are and that's their problem. This one guy's profile was completely full of an instructional guide for woman looking for the "right guy." He explained that every girl on OkCupid had the same profile and suggested ways to jazz it up. Although it was well written and I don't think it was suppose to be offensive or malicious, there was an underlying patronizing tone that I did not appreciate.
Anyway, back to me.
I joined almost a week ago and have been changing my profile like my life depends on it. Fixing a sentence here, adding snark there, trying to encapsulate myself in words without sounding like a raving lunatic or an obnoxious douche-bag. It's really a lot harder than you think. No, wait. I think we all know how hard it is to write a profile. Ugh. Finally, I have stopped changing it. It's all a gamble I'm beginning to realize.
In other news...
I think I got a promotion at Urbs so I'm happy about that. Still meeting exciting new people, super happy about THAT. Summer rocks.
Umbrellas provided by Dallas BBQ. Pic taken by Z Dubbs. Fun was had. Oh and this is after Travis cut Brandon's rat tail... it was an event to remember.
EXPECT MORE UPDATES!! I FINALLY HAVE INTERNETTTTT WOOOOOO!!!
I'm out.
Monday, May 10, 2010
You're Hired!
I shall get back to you about my hip hop research as I have yet to conduct it due to well... extenuating circumstances such as trying to find a new apartment/job, etc. I wanted to update because I want to share with you yet another aspect of society that completely baffles me- the interviewing process. In retrospect I suppose it makes sense. It's a way of figuring out whether a candidate is going to fit into your company or not, based on carefully constructed questions that- okay, now I'm lying. Some of these questions asked are seriously a form of psychological torture. Racking your brain for what seems like an eternity to answer the simple question, "Why do you want this job?" is proof enough of this ongoing conspiracy. You can never answer too honestly in an interview or you won't be considered. There are certain things these recruiters want to hear from you and I suppose it's a way of testing your will. How willing are you to do so much research on the company and the person interviewing you to mold your answers exactly to their liking without sounding like an automated system or a complete psycho? Very willing? You're hired. Inquiring about, "What kind of animal would you be and why?" makes my head spin. Excuse me? How is this going to help you understand whether or not I know how to make copies, file, or mail something?! I know it's also to make sure companies don't hire unstable introverts, or lazy, careless people, but you have to agree, some of the questions are a bit awkward.
I'm going to list some of the most horrendous question (and my favorite non-question*) below with some answers that would be sure to get you a spot in the morning cooler conversation the next day. Probably not a job, though.
Before I continue I just want to post this disclaimer:
At least I know what NOT to say, right? But seriously, if you are a potential employer, this is all in jest. I promise I'm not insane. And I don't candy flip, nor am I a drunk. Cheers.
Without further adieu:
What is your greatest weakness?
Chocolate. If there were secrets your company wanted me to keep, and a rival company offered me a Tobleron, well, say goodbye to those secrets. I also have an extremely short attention span. Board meetings lasting over 15 minutes would be hard for me to sit through... unless, of course, there's some Justin Bieber playing behind the presentation or some bright lights flashing- ohhh a disco ball!
What do you find are the most difficult decisions to make?
One time I had to decide whether or not to go to this amazing rave or finish my research paper in order to graduate. After going over a list of pro's and con's of attending this party and potentially not graduating I decided to party. You only live once right? It was fine though, because after I got back from the party I finished the paper. Yeah, I was still a little buzzed from candy flipping, but I was proud of myself for getting the work done, though you really couldn't understand the last part. It was kind of all over the place. So if there was a decision between partying and work, I'd always choose the party. I guess that's not too difficult.
Do you take work home with you?
If by "work", you mean "coworkers", then all the time. I'm joking! I'm joking (whispers and winks) kind of. But no I would never do that. I hate working at home.
What has been the greatest disappointment in your life?
Had to be when Sandra Bullock won that Oscar. It was like- "Really?! C'mon."
Tell me about yourself. *
I'm 22, and when I graduated I had such high expectations of the "real world," but was quickly disheartened by the amount of stupidity in positions of power. I love horror movies and drinking. I have to have a shot before work or I won't make it through the morning. I haven't missed a happy hour since August '09. People sometimes piss me off to a point where I'm compelled to physically hurt them. I think once I was arrested 5 times in one week for assault. Proudest week of my life. I enjoy long walks on the beach, with a forty of course, throwing sand on happy couples, and cheering for the fighting ones. I love calling out of work last minute and hearing the next day how they had to scramble to get someone to cover for me. If it weren't for money I would never work. Oh and Charles Manson is my role-model.
If the people who know you were asked why you should be hired, what would they say?
There would never be a dull moment in your office. She loves waging psychological warfare in the workplace.
HIRE ME!!
I'm out.
I'm going to list some of the most horrendous question (and my favorite non-question*) below with some answers that would be sure to get you a spot in the morning cooler conversation the next day. Probably not a job, though.
Before I continue I just want to post this disclaimer:
At least I know what NOT to say, right? But seriously, if you are a potential employer, this is all in jest. I promise I'm not insane. And I don't candy flip, nor am I a drunk. Cheers.
Without further adieu:
What is your greatest weakness?
Chocolate. If there were secrets your company wanted me to keep, and a rival company offered me a Tobleron, well, say goodbye to those secrets. I also have an extremely short attention span. Board meetings lasting over 15 minutes would be hard for me to sit through... unless, of course, there's some Justin Bieber playing behind the presentation or some bright lights flashing- ohhh a disco ball!
What do you find are the most difficult decisions to make?
One time I had to decide whether or not to go to this amazing rave or finish my research paper in order to graduate. After going over a list of pro's and con's of attending this party and potentially not graduating I decided to party. You only live once right? It was fine though, because after I got back from the party I finished the paper. Yeah, I was still a little buzzed from candy flipping, but I was proud of myself for getting the work done, though you really couldn't understand the last part. It was kind of all over the place. So if there was a decision between partying and work, I'd always choose the party. I guess that's not too difficult.
Do you take work home with you?
If by "work", you mean "coworkers", then all the time. I'm joking! I'm joking (whispers and winks) kind of. But no I would never do that. I hate working at home.
What has been the greatest disappointment in your life?
Had to be when Sandra Bullock won that Oscar. It was like- "Really?! C'mon."
Tell me about yourself. *
I'm 22, and when I graduated I had such high expectations of the "real world," but was quickly disheartened by the amount of stupidity in positions of power. I love horror movies and drinking. I have to have a shot before work or I won't make it through the morning. I haven't missed a happy hour since August '09. People sometimes piss me off to a point where I'm compelled to physically hurt them. I think once I was arrested 5 times in one week for assault. Proudest week of my life. I enjoy long walks on the beach, with a forty of course, throwing sand on happy couples, and cheering for the fighting ones. I love calling out of work last minute and hearing the next day how they had to scramble to get someone to cover for me. If it weren't for money I would never work. Oh and Charles Manson is my role-model.
If the people who know you were asked why you should be hired, what would they say?
There would never be a dull moment in your office. She loves waging psychological warfare in the workplace.
HIRE ME!!
I'm out.
Friday, January 22, 2010
HIPSTER METAMORPHOSIS
I was walking over to my friend's house when it hit me all at once. I looked like an effing hipster. The scarf. The headphones. The fanny pack... oh that fanny pack- I don't care I love it. Ha and while I was walking I found that record on the street courtesy of Elegante Records. I picked it up to smash with my roommate later (note: I still have it, completely intact 1/26/2010). We've heard records make a wonderful crashing sound and since this record I picked up looked like someone had already taken a bite out of it, there was no use for it, but to hear it's glorious percussion. Anyway, when I got to my friend's house I asked him to take a picture of me...
How crazayyy.
I think I'm in denial...
Alright. I gotta go get ready! Geebus!
I'm out.
How crazayyy.
I think I'm in denial...
Alright. I gotta go get ready! Geebus!
I'm out.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Random
I'm bored. I feel like I should update. But I don't really have a topic, just some random thoughts... here we goooo!
Ed Norton is mentioned in a Tribe Called Quest Song. Now I love him even more.
Also love Tribe Called Quest even more.
I'm starting to submit my writings to different places! Yay!
I'm so proud of my friend who started a publishing company and wrote a freaking book! Big ups!
Divine Apocalypse: The Beginning of the End
He's also on Twitter: novalpublishing
Get it.
My roommate and I are are discussing a joint venture involving band reviews and recruiting bands for his label. HOW FREAKIN SWEET IS THAT?!
So keep an eye out for some awesomeness.
I love old Taking Back Sunday I don't care who knows it!!
oh em geeee eeeeek!!! haha. oh boy. i love how "gun" is censored. stupid.
Going to Jersey tonight.
I got home from work at 3 am. this morning. I definitely need a new gig.
I'm hungry.
Okay.
Time to start my life today.
I'm out.
one more thing... I want to dance with him(mmmm).
YES.YES.YES.YUMMY.
Ed Norton is mentioned in a Tribe Called Quest Song. Now I love him even more.
Also love Tribe Called Quest even more.
I'm starting to submit my writings to different places! Yay!
I'm so proud of my friend who started a publishing company and wrote a freaking book! Big ups!
Divine Apocalypse: The Beginning of the End
He's also on Twitter: novalpublishing
Get it.
My roommate and I are are discussing a joint venture involving band reviews and recruiting bands for his label. HOW FREAKIN SWEET IS THAT?!
So keep an eye out for some awesomeness.
I love old Taking Back Sunday I don't care who knows it!!
oh em geeee eeeeek!!! haha. oh boy. i love how "gun" is censored. stupid.
Going to Jersey tonight.
I got home from work at 3 am. this morning. I definitely need a new gig.
I'm hungry.
Okay.
Time to start my life today.
I'm out.
one more thing... I want to dance with him(mmmm).
YES.YES.YES.YUMMY.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
All Work and No Play- NO WAY...well maybe
I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what profession I want to pursue that's not going to ultimately ONE- turn me into an impenitent, soulless bastard, TWO, drain me of my fervor for life, or THREE bore me out of my mind. Those are my guidelines. I was thinking working for a nonprofit organization would be my best bet. Being at the gift shop has really made me realize that I am unfulfilled- excuse me- dramatically, cripplingly unfulfilled. I feel like I'm wasting away there, I could be seriously helping people, not telling them where they can get a "yummy" brunch in the area. Every hour I spend there I feel my brain cells disintegrating at a steady, rapid pace. So in order for me to spare myself impending ineptitude, I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER JOB!!
I've been doing some research and there are quite a few organizations I would love to work for including, grassroots campaigns , fund for the public interest, or even environment america. Sigh. Yes. However, I know I cannot complain what with the seemingly doomed job market and the increasing rate of job loss, which is just devastating, but this is a step in the right direction... right? Maybe. I'm not sure if it will work either, and the fact that Eric (A-hole) Cantor was quoted in the article is exceedingly irritating. I'm not sure when I began actively disliking him, I just know I've never stopped since.
In other news, I am extremely happy that people are actually reading my blog! Thanks guys, it makes me feel all warm and tingly inside =)
I have finally finished reading this book:
I have been literally reading it for MONTHS now and it feels like an anchor, no FIVE anchors have been lifted. I was getting really pissed with the subtle messages of female subservience and necessary patriarchy- chauvinistic much? And thought I wasn't going to be able to make it through. I'm glad I did though, because it gave me fuel to unabashedly denounce the very existence of the author. No, I'm kidding, but he obviously had some issssues with women.
There were just so many different ideologies, sociological and philosophical inferences/suggestions in the book at some points it was a little dense. I found his theories on humor, religion and especially sex extremely fascinating, but there was always lurking behind his apparent genius, that little setback- HE WAS SEXIST. It's a shame because he had some really cool ideas, but I just can't get over some things he said, namely in one part of the book a woman is speaking and she says it's partly a woman's fault if she gets raped. YUP. HE SAID THAT. So, yeah. You understand my ambivalence. Ugh. I wish I could write more about it, but I have to get ready for worrrrkkkk. What else is new?
Hi, my name is Chris and I'm a workaholic.
ONE MORE THING
I'm OBSESSED with this song.
I'm out.
I've been doing some research and there are quite a few organizations I would love to work for including, grassroots campaigns , fund for the public interest, or even environment america. Sigh. Yes. However, I know I cannot complain what with the seemingly doomed job market and the increasing rate of job loss, which is just devastating, but this is a step in the right direction... right? Maybe. I'm not sure if it will work either, and the fact that Eric (A-hole) Cantor was quoted in the article is exceedingly irritating. I'm not sure when I began actively disliking him, I just know I've never stopped since.
In other news, I am extremely happy that people are actually reading my blog! Thanks guys, it makes me feel all warm and tingly inside =)
I have finally finished reading this book:
I have been literally reading it for MONTHS now and it feels like an anchor, no FIVE anchors have been lifted. I was getting really pissed with the subtle messages of female subservience and necessary patriarchy- chauvinistic much? And thought I wasn't going to be able to make it through. I'm glad I did though, because it gave me fuel to unabashedly denounce the very existence of the author. No, I'm kidding, but he obviously had some issssues with women.
There were just so many different ideologies, sociological and philosophical inferences/suggestions in the book at some points it was a little dense. I found his theories on humor, religion and especially sex extremely fascinating, but there was always lurking behind his apparent genius, that little setback- HE WAS SEXIST. It's a shame because he had some really cool ideas, but I just can't get over some things he said, namely in one part of the book a woman is speaking and she says it's partly a woman's fault if she gets raped. YUP. HE SAID THAT. So, yeah. You understand my ambivalence. Ugh. I wish I could write more about it, but I have to get ready for worrrrkkkk. What else is new?
Hi, my name is Chris and I'm a workaholic.
ONE MORE THING
I'm OBSESSED with this song.
I'm out.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Catchup
Okay so I've been to a few places of note, and some that were painfully boring.
BLACK CAT
Awesome venue- it's upstairs, but on the ground floor is a bar area, which seemed pretty cool.
So, I went there to see some band I've never heard of but some of their music sounded vaguely familiar. It was fun, but I'm not sure if I'd go see them again, but I will definitely be back at the Cat. I heard about Black Cat before from some coworkers and already had some apprehensions on going there. They told me the place would be filled with the textbook teenage rebels who hate their parents, die their hair green, and act as obnoxious as possible in public to receive the attention they don't get at home- ahhhhhh high school. Uh... actually, I did witness a few of those pubescent miscreants, but they were surprisingly calm, enjoying the show. The crowd was interesting, a mixture of twenty-somethings to fifty-somethings sipping beers, hanging out at the bar. One thing that did bother me though was no one was really dancing! That, of course, is not the fault of Black Cat but of these strange crowds who seem to frequent the last few shows I've been to... just too terrified to shake their groove thang. I mean, it's not going to kill you to loosen up at a concert! Ugh, I need to go to a dance party like stat. I'm feeling stifled.
Also, Black Cat reminded me of Iona's room from Pretty In Pink, very retro. The floors were black and white checkered and there was intimate seating in the back, which I almost didn't notice at first, but was a pleasant surprise. I really need to update like right after I go to these places or else it just seems rushed and not to mention uninspired, I'm digging quite a hole for myself but I don't remember much else haha. I'll be back there though... eventually...argh.
CIRCA
Weird place. I mean, I didn't hate it, but it's definitely not a place to frequent on the weekends. Well, it was nice because I was hanging out with cool people, but it's not a place I would suggest for a crazy night out, or a place to chill and soak in the atmosphere. There were too many people and the music was too loud for it to be a spot to unwind. Though, there is a drink that will ef you up guaranteed. It's deceptively called Sweet Tea, but contains lots of vodka. It's so good you can't taste a trace of alcohol. Delicious. Also, I must commend the place for having their own drink creations like the organic pomegranate martini which sounds absolutely delectable. However, I am not a fan of really sweet drinks and their raspberry ice tea contains more sugar than should be allowable in any drink anywhere ever. I almost went into shock after one sip.
Common Wealth Gastropub
LAME. I don't even know where to begin. It may not have helped that the place was almost empty or that you could barely hear the music playing, but I was not impressed. It was a saturday night and no one was there! Some sports channel was on and I was more interested in that than the happenings in the bar. I don't even like sports. I don't even remember what sport I was watching. Not fun.
In other newssss
I am working a whole lot as I have mentioned in my last entry and have been staying in DC quite a bit more often than I suspected. I love it. DC is the shit. Apartment hunting today. Wish me luck!!
=)
I'm out.
BLACK CAT
Awesome venue- it's upstairs, but on the ground floor is a bar area, which seemed pretty cool.
So, I went there to see some band I've never heard of but some of their music sounded vaguely familiar. It was fun, but I'm not sure if I'd go see them again, but I will definitely be back at the Cat. I heard about Black Cat before from some coworkers and already had some apprehensions on going there. They told me the place would be filled with the textbook teenage rebels who hate their parents, die their hair green, and act as obnoxious as possible in public to receive the attention they don't get at home- ahhhhhh high school. Uh... actually, I did witness a few of those pubescent miscreants, but they were surprisingly calm, enjoying the show. The crowd was interesting, a mixture of twenty-somethings to fifty-somethings sipping beers, hanging out at the bar. One thing that did bother me though was no one was really dancing! That, of course, is not the fault of Black Cat but of these strange crowds who seem to frequent the last few shows I've been to... just too terrified to shake their groove thang. I mean, it's not going to kill you to loosen up at a concert! Ugh, I need to go to a dance party like stat. I'm feeling stifled.
Also, Black Cat reminded me of Iona's room from Pretty In Pink, very retro. The floors were black and white checkered and there was intimate seating in the back, which I almost didn't notice at first, but was a pleasant surprise. I really need to update like right after I go to these places or else it just seems rushed and not to mention uninspired, I'm digging quite a hole for myself but I don't remember much else haha. I'll be back there though... eventually...argh.
CIRCA
Weird place. I mean, I didn't hate it, but it's definitely not a place to frequent on the weekends. Well, it was nice because I was hanging out with cool people, but it's not a place I would suggest for a crazy night out, or a place to chill and soak in the atmosphere. There were too many people and the music was too loud for it to be a spot to unwind. Though, there is a drink that will ef you up guaranteed. It's deceptively called Sweet Tea, but contains lots of vodka. It's so good you can't taste a trace of alcohol. Delicious. Also, I must commend the place for having their own drink creations like the organic pomegranate martini which sounds absolutely delectable. However, I am not a fan of really sweet drinks and their raspberry ice tea contains more sugar than should be allowable in any drink anywhere ever. I almost went into shock after one sip.
Common Wealth Gastropub
LAME. I don't even know where to begin. It may not have helped that the place was almost empty or that you could barely hear the music playing, but I was not impressed. It was a saturday night and no one was there! Some sports channel was on and I was more interested in that than the happenings in the bar. I don't even like sports. I don't even remember what sport I was watching. Not fun.
In other newssss
I am working a whole lot as I have mentioned in my last entry and have been staying in DC quite a bit more often than I suspected. I love it. DC is the shit. Apartment hunting today. Wish me luck!!
=)
I'm out.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Mind Your Manners!
So working in retail can be incredibly stressful at times, as some of you may know. Sometimes you feel like hurling hangers at unsuspecting shoppers, or screaming obscenities at annoying little children tearing through shirts you just folded because their parents are too self involved or indifferent, but instead you bottle up all of those aggressive urges behind a forced smile. When someone asks you a dumb question like, "Do you have a shirt with blue in it? There were sleeves. It was online," you want to shake them and ask them, "In what remote part of your tiny mind did you believe that was even the slightest bit helpful to me? That's like seriously asking me to look for a needle in a haystack," then walking away yell, "DUMBASS!"No. Instead you and the customer stand for a good twenty minutes trying to figure out wtf it is they want.
Today was my first real interaction with a crazy. A true crazy. I was working in the fitting room and letting a girl into an empty room. Her mom pushes past me to go in after her daughter and I politely tell her there is only one person to a fitting room. At this point the crazy comes out. She looks at me with seething eyes, her face gnarled into an impatient scowl, "No, I'm going to go in there and help my daughter get dressed." My immediate reaction was to throw my hands in the air as if I was a robber in one of those silent films and was just caught by the police, and simply mouth "Okayyy." So, I did that. Mind you, her daughter had reached- no, exceeded the age appropriate for parental supervision when trying on clothing. The crazy huffed and went in chuckling in disbelief. I laughed. It was ridiculous. That amount of energy should have never gone into that situation. What a waste- on little ol me! I didn't give a shit if she wanted to go in with her daughter, it was store policy. And when they were done in the fitting room, I could tell she was making it a point to not speak to me, so I asked her daughter how everything went and she was really sweet. I wished the both of them a pleasant afternoon- the crazy did not respond, and they left. That woman was a piece of work. Who knows what happened to her to make her react the way she did. Sad.
Work was pleasant enough, minus getting out at almost midnight. No fun-filled Saturday night for meeeee. wooooo. updating my blog. i'm so hip.
ugh.
I'm out.
Today was my first real interaction with a crazy. A true crazy. I was working in the fitting room and letting a girl into an empty room. Her mom pushes past me to go in after her daughter and I politely tell her there is only one person to a fitting room. At this point the crazy comes out. She looks at me with seething eyes, her face gnarled into an impatient scowl, "No, I'm going to go in there and help my daughter get dressed." My immediate reaction was to throw my hands in the air as if I was a robber in one of those silent films and was just caught by the police, and simply mouth "Okayyy." So, I did that. Mind you, her daughter had reached- no, exceeded the age appropriate for parental supervision when trying on clothing. The crazy huffed and went in chuckling in disbelief. I laughed. It was ridiculous. That amount of energy should have never gone into that situation. What a waste- on little ol me! I didn't give a shit if she wanted to go in with her daughter, it was store policy. And when they were done in the fitting room, I could tell she was making it a point to not speak to me, so I asked her daughter how everything went and she was really sweet. I wished the both of them a pleasant afternoon- the crazy did not respond, and they left. That woman was a piece of work. Who knows what happened to her to make her react the way she did. Sad.
Work was pleasant enough, minus getting out at almost midnight. No fun-filled Saturday night for meeeee. wooooo. updating my blog. i'm so hip.
ugh.
I'm out.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Alright Alright
So it seems my paranoia has not let up as much as I would have liked. It still shows itself in sneaky ways and I don't realize it's paranoia until too late. sigh. So, my blog name still holds true. I am very much still a paranoid. However, I have gotten tons better considering I don't cower at the thought of happiness. I used to think if I was happy it was all going to come crashing down within minutes. If I allowed my self to just be in the moment and happy, everything would go horribly wrong and it would me my fault! I'm sick. I know. I'm working on it... actively. In the past I always told myself I was "working" on whatever it is that perpetuates these feelings, but now I'm realizing that simply recognizing that it's there is not enough! I need to actively fight these feelings. Also, I think I was harboring these feelings because i felt like they were apart of me, of my personality. Like, "oh, that's chris, she's cool. she's paranoid." horrible.
In other news-
I already got promoted at my new job and i haven't even started yet! haha. i'm going to be a team leader whatever the hell that means, but it sounds cool. I really like my boss she seems super nice. Life's good right now and I'm enjoying it. All I need to do now is get out of my aunt's. she's taken to bothering me about eating again, and of course has something to say about my fervent desire to get out of the house. Let me go people! Let me go!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Sleepily Deepily
I am exceptionally tired today. No idea why. I mean, I have been waking up early and going to bed late, but I never felt this drained. I guess it's finally catching up with me. I went on the one on one interview today and went through that tedious questioning process that is suppose to give the employer an insight into who i am- bs. i hate interviews. i do like meeting people though, but interviews just seem so contrived.
what am i doing!? i need to go to sleep before i pass out at work tonight.
more later.
signing off.
what am i doing!? i need to go to sleep before i pass out at work tonight.
more later.
signing off.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Spoke n Heard
I went to this awesome place last night called bus boys and poets. I fell in love a lot-- I love words. It was so much fun and I got to know my coworkers a little better. We planned to go out saturday night and maybe even to tryst some time this week. Sigh. I like friends. It makes not living on my own that much more bearable. I think I might perform next week for open mike, but we'll see.
I'm looking for big people jobs now. I've had enough of this waiting around. I'm starting to apply for research assistant jobs, because I dunno, I guess i'm kinda interested in that. not knowing what i want is really infuriating, but i have to use my brother-in law's advice and just go through that tedious process of elimination. hopefully i won't get discouraged in the process. Oh! I got a job at FORD's Theatre
How rad is that?!
I'm also interviewing with Diesel tomorrow, which ought to be interesting. I already know what I'm wearing haha. Purple pencil skirt, white button down, black vest, black leggings, hot black boots, sexy attitude. that last one you can't see, but oh you'll feel it.
The new Diesel campaign is strange and wonderful and i just had to know who was behind it. Well i found out who photographed it, Jason Nocito. His photos are incredible. I think i'm going to surf the web for awesome photos instead of being productive. Sigh. It's so much more fun than being a grown up, negating responsibility, laughing at normalcy, all the while spiraling-- more like plummeting into nonexistence.
stupid life.
I'm looking for big people jobs now. I've had enough of this waiting around. I'm starting to apply for research assistant jobs, because I dunno, I guess i'm kinda interested in that. not knowing what i want is really infuriating, but i have to use my brother-in law's advice and just go through that tedious process of elimination. hopefully i won't get discouraged in the process. Oh! I got a job at FORD's Theatre
How rad is that?!
I'm also interviewing with Diesel tomorrow, which ought to be interesting. I already know what I'm wearing haha. Purple pencil skirt, white button down, black vest, black leggings, hot black boots, sexy attitude. that last one you can't see, but oh you'll feel it.
The new Diesel campaign is strange and wonderful and i just had to know who was behind it. Well i found out who photographed it, Jason Nocito. His photos are incredible. I think i'm going to surf the web for awesome photos instead of being productive. Sigh. It's so much more fun than being a grown up, negating responsibility, laughing at normalcy, all the while spiraling-- more like plummeting into nonexistence.
stupid life.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The New Addiction
Alright, so this addiction may not be so new, but it's decided to rear its ugly head at the most inopportune time. My $hopping addiction. It starts off with a few pieces I really like, some necessities and then I just spiral out of control. I'm spiraling right now. I just bought these adorable shoes from simple shoes, a site/company which i love because of their use of recycled materials to make their products, plus their company is fun and cares about the planet. It also doesn't hurt that they know how to design an adorable shoe. I bought these...
It was love at first sight.
So today I planned to buy more things, but hopefully today will also conclude my abominable spending.
I need to save so I can move outta here before I completely lose it. Luckily my aunt's sister flew in yesterday so she'll a wonderful distraction for my aunt, which is great.
I keep going to bed late and waking up early, it's very strange. It's a good thing though, right? But I mean, sometimes a girl just wants to sleep until 12, is that so bad?
Work today wooo
It was love at first sight.
So today I planned to buy more things, but hopefully today will also conclude my abominable spending.
I need to save so I can move outta here before I completely lose it. Luckily my aunt's sister flew in yesterday so she'll a wonderful distraction for my aunt, which is great.
I keep going to bed late and waking up early, it's very strange. It's a good thing though, right? But I mean, sometimes a girl just wants to sleep until 12, is that so bad?
Work today wooo
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