Newborn and Forlorn

Arriving, groggy, motion-sensitive, and exhausted, I made the trip to VA from Brooklyn with my uncle, aunt and two cousins along with an adorable dog named Daisy to see my sister and her family, namely my newborn niece. All in all it seemed like a sitcom on the way down. Before even getting into the car I was hounded by my uncle to pick up my phone while at work. After some heated text messaging there still didn't seem to be any understanding that there would be repercussions for picking up the phone on the clock, so I ignored the angry, loud buzzing notifications until I was off work which was oh, 20 min. later. The absurdity did not end there however, for I had about 5.5 hours to acquire some fantastic memories. For instance, the strange pang of guilt I felt for traveling with a small animal. Little Daisy was a champ throughout the entire ride, but her trip was far from over once I was released from the four-wheeled prison. Their ultimate destination was Miami.
Being in a packed car is hard enough without having to hear my uncle tell the same stories over and over and over again and then to top of the horrendous way he speaks to his wife, it felt like I was in some kind of terrible off Broadway drama about male dominance and dreams lost. It was depressing. All I could do was sit there and witness an unspeakable reality and be completely helpless in remedying the situation. It was a testament to the heartbreaking seriousness of volatile relationships and the painful affects of an unfulfilled life if you're not careful. All of these heinous thoughts vanished however after a good night's sleep and seeing my little niece for the first time.
There's something about a newborn child that gives you hope, a new life in this world of chaos and deceit. She is a ray of light, unknowing and innocent. Although, I fear for her as well for obvious reasons. It's so easy to be a cynic and succumb to negative thoughts and doubt. The world is a scary place, but there is beauty. It's an important thing to remember. It's not all bad. There are little miracles like life to remind you of the significance of family, friends, love, and the crazy, beautiful spontaneity of life.
Life is beautiful. She is beautiful.



I'm out.

Interspew

Interviews- N. One of the most devastating realities in our culture, where desperate job seekers are thrown into an incredibly awkward begging process incited by generic questions and assuming holders of their future. I'm not sure if there's anything I dislike more than having to sit in a group of others all outwardly hoping they give the most enticing answers and that you screw up. Group interviews are worse than one on one interviews for numerous reasons, but the one that gets me the most frustrated is the fact that in a setting like that people tend to be a little bit apprehensive to show themselves. It may be out of insecurity or from sheer, incapacitating shyness which I guess can be a result of insecurity. Anyway, that's not always the case for the "quiet interviewer" as I have now dubbed that person we've encountered at least once. The person sitting in the corner, staring around anxiously, praying the hour goes by faster. However, these "quiet interviewers" are not necessarily bad workers or innately timid people. In a group interview, though, it's hard to give them a chance if they don't speak. I know I know that's the whole point I suppose, to weed out the seemingly socially handicapped people in turn for boisterous, borderline obnoxious, enthusiastic applicants. Sigh. Something just seems wrong about that kind of logic. I bet there are hundreds of people being affected by this ridiculous group interview process and there's nothing we can do to stop it. All I can do is write about how unfair and inefficient it is and advise anyone who does happen to be thrown into that horrible situation to SPEAK OUT!
Oh and my internet is working again!
Woot!


Mumford & Sons are my new favorite!

I'm out.

A Tale of True Ninnies: A Story About Hope Lost via The Internet

As a result of being utterly unable to figure out where my main Internet box is I am resorting to using my iPhone to update. Why don't you go to the coffee shop next door, you're probably saying. Why don't you just go to a friend's house you're probably chuckling. Well, there is a simple, yet stupid answer for that. I've kind of always wanted to test the capacity for this here iPhone. Is it as convenient and necessary to my existence as I've always thought it to be? YES, yes it is. It's convenience is to a startling degree. I'm not sure whether I should be excited or horrified that the thought of losing it make me shudder. Definitely horrified. Anyway, it's been a while since I've updated, mainly... excuse me, SOLELY because of this whole Internet debacle. Explain the situation? Why, I would love to: A few weeks ago the Internet just decided to stop working. Thinking it was just a matter of unplugging the machine and turning it back on I did not panic. Then, after doing that oh 5 times and then frantically calling verizon I realized the problem was external. Verizon would have to send a technician to fix the problem. Sighing with relief, thinking that would only take like 15 minutes, I immediately scheduled an appointment a few days later, being off and extremely ready to get my Internet service up and running again. The technician came in the morning, poked around the router, went outside for 10 minutes, came back in and told me there was nothing he could do. "You have to find out where the main cable box is in order for me to fix it." I thought to myself, how the bloody hell would I know where that is? And yes I tend to think in a British accent. So he left with a quickness of a thousand winds and didn't look back. I remembered there was confusion when they first installed the Internet and I remembered something about them wiring it through an auto body shop behind my apartment so I call the technician and tell him that and all he says to me is "No, it's in a abandoned building by your apartment," and abruptly hangs up on me. At this point I'm furious so I call Verizon back careful to keep my temper in check because obviously it's no fault of whoever picks up the phone but of that crass a-hole know-it-all. Oh gawd, he's probably right. So the battle commences. They're telling me I have to find out where this mysterious "main box" is and I have to call them once I've found it. This search has resulted in hours of brain-cramping super sleuthing and many awkward phone calls to strangers and it's almost been 2 weeks since the Internet's stopped working. I'm at my wits end trying to resolve this insane situation. So, what I'm really asking is.... Can I use your Internet?

Sent from my iPhone



I'm out.

2011: It's Gonna Be Wild

Due to the influx of hours being put in at the-place-that-will-not-be-named I have been unable to sit down, devoid of exhaustion and frustration to just write. Hence, I have not written in over two weeks which is appalling to say the least.
Life has been throwing me some hard balls recently (I'll pause for laughter). With the impending new year, though, I have decided that rather than wallow in self-pity and curse the universe for taking a personal vendetta against me in the name of some unspeakable necessity making my life a comedic-tragedy, I am going to power through it. 2010 was a year of growth, a year of surprises and downfalls, triumphs and questions. It was the year I made some amazing friends and lost some crazy ones- The year I truly began to understand what it was to be an adult and flee full speed away from its morbid, depressing implications- The year I began to discover myself (in a non sexual way... perverts)- The year of new experiences and the end of wistful beginnings- The year of clarity and absurd disillusionment. All in all, as are the years before and will be the years coming, 2010 has offered yet another modicum of knowledge and has brought me that much closer to inevitable death. Let's be real people. Every year that ball drops is another year chipped off of your lifeline. Oh, plus 2012 is like right around the corner. I'm just a bundle of sunshine today, aren't I?!
Anyway, I'm excited for the amazing possibilities in store for 2011 (plus, I get to wear these awesome sequined shorts, all in the name of the new year). Next year is going to be amazing. I can feel it. Can you feel it?


I'm out.

Wait!

Some fun facts about 2011...

-The United Nations has dubbed it as International Year of Forests.... hm, although with the current climate change may have to be changed to The Year of The Ever Encroaching Inevitable Wasteland If We Don't Start Really Loving The Three Rs... although, that may be a bit long. Maybe just Year of The Wasteland would suffice. It has a Cummings ring to it I enjoy. And it's also the Year of Chemistry... hm, maybe change that to The Year of The Science We Need In Order To Survive The Year of The Wasteland... that has a lovely apocalyptic overtone.

-Estonia is finally going to adopt the Euro, those stubborn bastards (I know nothing about this, please consider my insurmountable ignorance on the topic of foreign currency... or any currency really), note my current predicament: broke college graduate. I have joined the ranks of the cliched story of old. Sigh. I should've been a lawyer.

-Men's World Ice Hockey Championships will be held in Slovakia... and no one will care.

-The hottest, most eligible bachelor will be roped into a stifling, endless relationship with some chick (Prince William is getting married to some floozy)

-The International Olympic Committee will decide where the 2018 Winter Olympics will be held. And, again, no one will care except for the poor (eeysh,probably literally), freezing country it will be held in. They will quickly realize that housing a whole bunch of crazy athletes probably wasn't the best idea. They eat a lot. They're demanding. They probably drink a lot. Wait. Who are they? Me?

-And most importantly, in 2011 I will quite possibly turn on the heat in my apartment and not freeze to near-death every night.

For more fun facts about the upcoming year visit this site where you can also see fantastic photos of Jimmy Wales. I swear there's a new picture of him everyday. It's unnerving.

LITERARY DEATH

I was seriously contemplating dedicating an entire entry to the recent events in which my purse was greedily, excuse me, psychotically ripped away from my tender possession. Wow. It sounds like I was mugged. I wasn't. It was taken out of my friend's apartment. It's a long story (which is why I was gonna blog about it ha). This is an experience I swear I have about every 6-8 months. Something terrible MUST happen to me within that time frame or else the world will end- no, really, I'm convinced my perpetual misfortune is what keeps this earth spinning peacefully on its axis. YOU'RE WELCOME.
--SIDE NOTE--
I typed in "earth off axis" for google images and this came up

-compliments of momontherocks.com
--SIDE NOTE END--
I will refrain from writing about "the unfortunate event" as I do not want to -ahem- "blow up anyone's spot." But to the guy who felt the need to take things that didn't belong to him: F--- YOU. Yes, F--- YOU. I usually never use such colorful language in my blog, but your actions stir up emotions within me that cannot possibly be contained. Also, I hope something unimaginably terrible happens to you. A permanent splinter between your toes perhaps, or many tiny paper cuts between your fingers and on your FACE! I would describe more horrible, graphic scenarios, but just in case karma does exist I don't want to get too crazy and get hit by a car or something- OH WAIT.
Anyway...
I am posting at this abominable hour because I have been thinking about how much I have been neglecting my dream of becoming an astoundingly brilliant woman writer like Mary Higgins Clark or Nora Roberts. I hope you caught that seething sarcasm (and that awesome alliteration). Seriously though, I feel like my old roommate was right. He had a great point about "getting lost in the city" and would always tell me, don't let the thrill of the city get in the way of your dream. GAH!!! I HAVE. I swore to myself that after I moved here from NoVA I would honestly look for writing jobs or for something involving creativity and intellectual stimulation, but I haven't. Instead I have been wrapped up in, well, other things. Things that aren't necessarily bad, but not conducive to what it is I came here to do. I came here to write, and though I love blogging I never meant for this to be the primary platform for my writing. It's been a realization I have been slowly, shamefully coming to for quite some time. Though, recently I have been writing more, like I promised myself I would, I have not been trying to continue growing as a writer/person. No museums, no galleries, no shows, no NOTHING, at least, I haven't been to any for a while. I mean I went to a really nice restaurant during Restaurant Week which was amazing, but that's only because one of my friends asked me to go with her! I was suppose to go to a show I REALLY WANTED TO GO TO on Sunday (FREAKING CHROMEO) but due to extenuating circumstances that was out of the question. I haven't gone off on my own to do anything fun... BOOOOOO BAD, CHRIS! Sigh.
This is the most self-centered post EVER. Apologies. I know people are itching for me to post an entire entry about my problems and hear all about meeeeeee BLAH BLAH BLAH... I think I'm done.
I mean, I can't be the only person who feels this way! I JUST CAN'T BE!!
Sigh. I'm feeling so disgustingly emo haha. Alright. I should probably go to bed...






Don't walk the plank like I did
You will be dispensed with
When you've become inconvenient








I'm out.