Newborn and Forlorn

Arriving, groggy, motion-sensitive, and exhausted, I made the trip to VA from Brooklyn with my uncle, aunt and two cousins along with an adorable dog named Daisy to see my sister and her family, namely my newborn niece. All in all it seemed like a sitcom on the way down. Before even getting into the car I was hounded by my uncle to pick up my phone while at work. After some heated text messaging there still didn't seem to be any understanding that there would be repercussions for picking up the phone on the clock, so I ignored the angry, loud buzzing notifications until I was off work which was oh, 20 min. later. The absurdity did not end there however, for I had about 5.5 hours to acquire some fantastic memories. For instance, the strange pang of guilt I felt for traveling with a small animal. Little Daisy was a champ throughout the entire ride, but her trip was far from over once I was released from the four-wheeled prison. Their ultimate destination was Miami.
Being in a packed car is hard enough without having to hear my uncle tell the same stories over and over and over again and then to top of the horrendous way he speaks to his wife, it felt like I was in some kind of terrible off Broadway drama about male dominance and dreams lost. It was depressing. All I could do was sit there and witness an unspeakable reality and be completely helpless in remedying the situation. It was a testament to the heartbreaking seriousness of volatile relationships and the painful affects of an unfulfilled life if you're not careful. All of these heinous thoughts vanished however after a good night's sleep and seeing my little niece for the first time.
There's something about a newborn child that gives you hope, a new life in this world of chaos and deceit. She is a ray of light, unknowing and innocent. Although, I fear for her as well for obvious reasons. It's so easy to be a cynic and succumb to negative thoughts and doubt. The world is a scary place, but there is beauty. It's an important thing to remember. It's not all bad. There are little miracles like life to remind you of the significance of family, friends, love, and the crazy, beautiful spontaneity of life.
Life is beautiful. She is beautiful.



I'm out.

Cheers! To New Beginnings!

So this is my new blog I've decided to create because my other blog needs to be more focused on fashion and not so much on my life. This blog however can be as self-indulgent as I like =)

So, I'm 22 and trying to figure out where my place is in this crazy world. Trying not to get consumed by all the chaos and the confusing natures of others/myself. People are continuously baffling me in both positive and negative ways, which is fantastic, because it's fuel for this blog haha.
I have relocated from New York to little ol Northern VA, which isn't so little, but is relatively old, and I'm working at

trying to piece my life together. I love NY, don't get me wrong. It's the city of my dreams with its rough and rugged appeal and beautiful disarray, but after a startling reality check (NYC is effing expensive), I decided that maybe now is not the time to attempt to live in a closet in Crown Heights in hopes of finding something better. I needed a change anyway, it will help with my writing and whatnot I suppose. Being in Northern VA is not so bad, though.
I've been enjoying lots of new experiences here, like my first date after years. It was a lackluster occasion, but of sitcom proportions. The both of us were baffled by how we could have missed what an unlikely pairing we made. He was dead set on being a successful businessman, while I was content with the notion of being a starving artist. He was super nice though. Someone I could see myself being friends with and learning a lot from, but as far as a relationship beyond that? Absolutely not.
I was going on this date thinking it was strictly platonic, but then he kept bringing up the fact I could still be in love with my ex-boyfriend, which made me extremely uncomfortable. He told me the girls he usually dated were blonde and high maintenance, I told him I was into artistic guys, and he could see I was neither blonde nor high maintenance. We stood there at a standstill, fishing for awkward conversation as I knocked back a tall dark beer (he hates dark beer, i love it). I wouldn't even let him pay for my drink. I felt bad because we were going to go to jazz in the park but it was getting late so he drove all this way only to turn back around from the direction we left, so i paid for his beer. I'm pretty sure I bruised his ego, but he seems to be a resilient kind of guy. He told me he has a lot of confidence in himself which I thought was interesting because... well, I won't get into it, but he was no brad pitt, let's leave it at that. Good for him though! I wish I could have that much confidence in myself (ha, that sounds so contrived-but it's not!)
He told me about his sordid past and his philosophy on people: Everyone has baggage, it's what they do with it that makes the person. I thought that was such an interesting concept on feeling people out. Baggage usually has negative connotations, but in what he was telling me, it was merely a driving force. Maybe baggage wasn't the right word, but I understood what he meant and was intrigued by the idea.
OH!!! And his exit strategy was, "My roommate's mom is coming into the airport at 10:30 [which later changed to 11:30 when our conversation picked up] and I want to go with him to pick her up." Whatever. It was cool. So when he left I sat at the table laughing to myself at what an awkward situation I put myself in without even realizing it. What a fool I was, but it was a learning experience. It's about time I jumped back up on the dating horse.
Sigh. I need friends. I don't know anything about this area and the lack of social interaction with my peers I feel will have an irreversible adverse affect on my future relationships with people. Working at Urban is helpful though. I'm meeting people there. This ought to be an interesting new chapter in my life.
Well, that's enough for today, the angle i'm typing at is starting to pain my body.
Until next time.