Arriving, groggy, motion-sensitive, and exhausted, I made the trip to VA from Brooklyn with my uncle, aunt and two cousins along with an adorable dog named Daisy to see my sister and her family, namely my newborn niece. All in all it seemed like a sitcom on the way down. Before even getting into the car I was hounded by my uncle to pick up my phone while at work. After some heated text messaging there still didn't seem to be any understanding that there would be repercussions for picking up the phone on the clock, so I ignored the angry, loud buzzing notifications until I was off work which was oh, 20 min. later. The absurdity did not end there however, for I had about 5.5 hours to acquire some fantastic memories. For instance, the strange pang of guilt I felt for traveling with a small animal. Little Daisy was a champ throughout the entire ride, but her trip was far from over once I was released from the four-wheeled prison. Their ultimate destination was Miami.
Being in a packed car is hard enough without having to hear my uncle tell the same stories over and over and over again and then to top of the horrendous way he speaks to his wife, it felt like I was in some kind of terrible off Broadway drama about male dominance and dreams lost. It was depressing. All I could do was sit there and witness an unspeakable reality and be completely helpless in remedying the situation. It was a testament to the heartbreaking seriousness of volatile relationships and the painful affects of an unfulfilled life if you're not careful. All of these heinous thoughts vanished however after a good night's sleep and seeing my little niece for the first time.
There's something about a newborn child that gives you hope, a new life in this world of chaos and deceit. She is a ray of light, unknowing and innocent. Although, I fear for her as well for obvious reasons. It's so easy to be a cynic and succumb to negative thoughts and doubt. The world is a scary place, but there is beauty. It's an important thing to remember. It's not all bad. There are little miracles like life to remind you of the significance of family, friends, love, and the crazy, beautiful spontaneity of life.
Life is beautiful. She is beautiful.
I'm out.
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
"I don't know about my dreams. I don't know about my dreamin anymore."
It's been a while, but I finally have some down time to update this thing. A lot has happened in the last few months what with my lease ending, starting a new job and rearranging my dreams, future... hm, maybe that last part is a bit of a stretch. I have been mulling over different possibilities but a clear cut plan has yet to come into fruition. I have hope though! Hope. What a word. It's been a distant thought for a while. Doubt had such a stronghold on everything in my life and now, well Hope knocked down the door and kicked doubt's ass so everything's cool.
I've moved into a brand new place and it has opened up endless possibilities. Side note- MOVING SUCKS. Ok. Done.
I know you should never depend so much on your environment that you let it dictate what you want and/or who you are, but as I'm writing this it just sounds wrong... also impossible, so maybe my stagnant inclinations were inevitable. Well no more laziness, no more complaining, no more wishing. This summer is going to be an experience, I've already decided. All I have to do is write more. It's so simple yet so insanely hard to do. I was speaking with someone about having a "passion" in the city and how difficult it is to be successful or even work on your "passion" if you don't focus. This conversation is by no means new or surprising, but it is very, very applicable to so many twenty-somethings. Just yesterday I was perusing okcupid (don't judge me) and so many profiles had the phrase "existential crisis" tucked comfortably away in "About Me" or "What I'm Doing With My Life," and it's not hard to see why. Grappling with where you thought you'd be and where you are now is something that can be hard to come to terms with. It helps though, that there are so many people having the same depressing thoughts. Maybe I should join some kind sort of collective. Also probably find some will power somewhere. I could probably get that off e-bay, right?
Let's talk about friends. I've found that in this year and a half I've been here friendship has been one of not the most significant concepts I've had to reconfigure. When we were younger it was so easy to make them. Go up to someone and offer them a pog or a marble, hell a leaf and ask coyly, "Friends?" And the answer would always be yes. Now making friends is a lot like dating. You have to sift through a lot of trash to find that treasure haha oh okc... (don't judge me.) Finding the right friends has an impact and if you have a crazy one, well then lord help you. Having a circle of people around you who genuinely care about your well-being is something that can be really tough to find so if you have those people you should never take them for granted. The beauty of friendship truly rests in each individual you allow into a very private part of your life and yourself. Oh lawd, I'm starting to sound like a self help book again. All I wanted to say is that I am so grateful for everyone in my life and have learned so much through all my relationships and experiences with so many amazing people. This city can easily eat you alive, so it helps to have some people in your corner. A crew if you will. Ha.
It's time to be more consistent again. I wonder how many times I've said that in this thing. A LOT. I know that.
LOVE HIM.
I'm out.
I've moved into a brand new place and it has opened up endless possibilities. Side note- MOVING SUCKS. Ok. Done.
I know you should never depend so much on your environment that you let it dictate what you want and/or who you are, but as I'm writing this it just sounds wrong... also impossible, so maybe my stagnant inclinations were inevitable. Well no more laziness, no more complaining, no more wishing. This summer is going to be an experience, I've already decided. All I have to do is write more. It's so simple yet so insanely hard to do. I was speaking with someone about having a "passion" in the city and how difficult it is to be successful or even work on your "passion" if you don't focus. This conversation is by no means new or surprising, but it is very, very applicable to so many twenty-somethings. Just yesterday I was perusing okcupid (don't judge me) and so many profiles had the phrase "existential crisis" tucked comfortably away in "About Me" or "What I'm Doing With My Life," and it's not hard to see why. Grappling with where you thought you'd be and where you are now is something that can be hard to come to terms with. It helps though, that there are so many people having the same depressing thoughts. Maybe I should join some kind sort of collective. Also probably find some will power somewhere. I could probably get that off e-bay, right?
Let's talk about friends. I've found that in this year and a half I've been here friendship has been one of not the most significant concepts I've had to reconfigure. When we were younger it was so easy to make them. Go up to someone and offer them a pog or a marble, hell a leaf and ask coyly, "Friends?" And the answer would always be yes. Now making friends is a lot like dating. You have to sift through a lot of trash to find that treasure haha oh okc... (don't judge me.) Finding the right friends has an impact and if you have a crazy one, well then lord help you. Having a circle of people around you who genuinely care about your well-being is something that can be really tough to find so if you have those people you should never take them for granted. The beauty of friendship truly rests in each individual you allow into a very private part of your life and yourself. Oh lawd, I'm starting to sound like a self help book again. All I wanted to say is that I am so grateful for everyone in my life and have learned so much through all my relationships and experiences with so many amazing people. This city can easily eat you alive, so it helps to have some people in your corner. A crew if you will. Ha.
It's time to be more consistent again. I wonder how many times I've said that in this thing. A LOT. I know that.
LOVE HIM.
I'm out.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Skin You Alive
You have got to be kidding me. I can't believe I'm about to defend this show, but... sigh I had to.
image from poptower.com
I know you've heard about the "new" controversial show that hit the airwaves last week consequently riling up every bigoted, ignorant, and just plain hypocritical person/organization in this country. Skins, which is originally a show produced in England is about a group of teens who use recreational drugs, have sex, and are immune to common sense and monotony. This show has entertained American youth for years, but the minute it comes here as a remake there is this whirlwind of judgment and disgust based solely on our country's incredible ability to ignore our own sexual depravity when it comes to teens in entertainment. Ahem- Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, Justin Bieber. Instead, the US is condemning a series that might just be the most honest (okay a bit exaggerated) representation of youth... besides Degrassi ha. Okay, I'm totally taking license here, but I'm trying to make a point.
Teens do in fact use drugs and they also- gasp - have sex, but with every fiber in their historically warped, willingly oblivious being, America does not want this all too real exhibition of growing up to be broadcast to the masses.
Advertisers have been pulling support from the show in fear of being ostracized and boycotted by a bunch of raving lunatics. This is from this article on msnbc.com: "THR.com first reported Taco Bell pulled out of the series — which chronicles teens having sex and doing drugs — because 'it is not a fit for our brand.'" I'm sorry. WHAT?! I cannot count how many times I have seen on their twitter account a retweet by a young person proclaiming their need for Taco Bell after a "reeedic smoke sesh." Also, we all know Taco Bell is the place to go when it's 2 in the morning and you've got a bad case of the munchies. Taco Bell knows all too well stoners' prevalence to ooey gooey melty crunchy or however the ad goes.
And to all you car companies who shamelessly fled from advertising during the show like cowardly ninnies, say goodbye to your ads exclaiming "rugged masculinity" and "toughness," because apparently, when the road gets too rough instead of powering through it you pull over and call your mommies crying.
On a more serious, yet wildly outrageous note, the show's being considered a violation of child pornography laws. Granted, I too am a little concerned with the age of the actors on the show. If, however, THEIR PARENTS consented to having them on it, well then I guess that's fine. Why? BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS CONSENTED. I will say nothing further on that particular matter, because I am sure there are more pressing cases of child pornography in the US that involve younger, more helpless children, and if this investigation is taking manpower from that dire, vile problem then I absolutely have no words. No words to express my immense discomfort and nausea with the thought that this legal, completely professional syndicated show is taking precedent over them.
The Parents Televison Council should be ashamed of themselves for undertaking this witch hunt that is undoubtedly a cry for attention. This organization reminds me of those crazy PTA members who wanted to remove Romeo & Juliet from the high school curriculum because it promotes indecent behavior. SHADDUP. There are bigger fights to be fought, but because this one has a bit more celebrity attached to it there's a mad (and I do mean MAD) scramble to announce their passionate aversion to it. There's a solution to all of this. RAISE YO KIDS RAISE YO KIDS RAISE YO GD KIDS. Watch them. Be proactive parents. Turn off the TV. Young kids shouldn't be watching MTV anyway (ahem Jersey Shore). I could get into a whole slew of things wrong with a parenting organization trying to oust a TV show from a network in the name of "protection," but I've bored you long enough.
I'm out.
I know you've heard about the "new" controversial show that hit the airwaves last week consequently riling up every bigoted, ignorant, and just plain hypocritical person/organization in this country. Skins, which is originally a show produced in England is about a group of teens who use recreational drugs, have sex, and are immune to common sense and monotony. This show has entertained American youth for years, but the minute it comes here as a remake there is this whirlwind of judgment and disgust based solely on our country's incredible ability to ignore our own sexual depravity when it comes to teens in entertainment. Ahem- Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, Justin Bieber. Instead, the US is condemning a series that might just be the most honest (okay a bit exaggerated) representation of youth... besides Degrassi ha. Okay, I'm totally taking license here, but I'm trying to make a point.
Teens do in fact use drugs and they also- gasp - have sex, but with every fiber in their historically warped, willingly oblivious being, America does not want this all too real exhibition of growing up to be broadcast to the masses.
Advertisers have been pulling support from the show in fear of being ostracized and boycotted by a bunch of raving lunatics. This is from this article on msnbc.com: "THR.com first reported Taco Bell pulled out of the series — which chronicles teens having sex and doing drugs — because 'it is not a fit for our brand.'" I'm sorry. WHAT?! I cannot count how many times I have seen on their twitter account a retweet by a young person proclaiming their need for Taco Bell after a "reeedic smoke sesh." Also, we all know Taco Bell is the place to go when it's 2 in the morning and you've got a bad case of the munchies. Taco Bell knows all too well stoners' prevalence to ooey gooey melty crunchy or however the ad goes.
And to all you car companies who shamelessly fled from advertising during the show like cowardly ninnies, say goodbye to your ads exclaiming "rugged masculinity" and "toughness," because apparently, when the road gets too rough instead of powering through it you pull over and call your mommies crying.
On a more serious, yet wildly outrageous note, the show's being considered a violation of child pornography laws. Granted, I too am a little concerned with the age of the actors on the show. If, however, THEIR PARENTS consented to having them on it, well then I guess that's fine. Why? BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS CONSENTED. I will say nothing further on that particular matter, because I am sure there are more pressing cases of child pornography in the US that involve younger, more helpless children, and if this investigation is taking manpower from that dire, vile problem then I absolutely have no words. No words to express my immense discomfort and nausea with the thought that this legal, completely professional syndicated show is taking precedent over them.
The Parents Televison Council should be ashamed of themselves for undertaking this witch hunt that is undoubtedly a cry for attention. This organization reminds me of those crazy PTA members who wanted to remove Romeo & Juliet from the high school curriculum because it promotes indecent behavior. SHADDUP. There are bigger fights to be fought, but because this one has a bit more celebrity attached to it there's a mad (and I do mean MAD) scramble to announce their passionate aversion to it. There's a solution to all of this. RAISE YO KIDS RAISE YO KIDS RAISE YO GD KIDS. Watch them. Be proactive parents. Turn off the TV. Young kids shouldn't be watching MTV anyway (ahem Jersey Shore). I could get into a whole slew of things wrong with a parenting organization trying to oust a TV show from a network in the name of "protection," but I've bored you long enough.
I'm out.
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