Saturday, December 26, 2009

Sherlock Holmes, Homes.

Sherlock Holmes

I was never an avid reader of the Sherlock Holmes series, nor was I truly invested in the television series, but I can tell you after watching this historical character, portrayed by Robert Downey, Jr., wax on eloquently about disabling someone’s body I became enamored by his poetry and astounding charisma. His character is that of a tormented intellectual who rejects societal norms, favoring only his work and his companion, Watson. Their relationship is quite close, and reports have been that Guy Ritchie intended on putting a gay overtone in Holmes and Watson’s friendship.

To my surprise the dialogue for this movie was not only deliciously multi-syllabic, but it was also intellectually witty and quick. It happens too often language is simplified for the masses’ feeble comprehension. The dialogue in this movie was full of something I thought mainstream films were devoid of, substance. Even movies set in time periods where dialect was distinctively more wordy and long winded, scripts seem to dumb down the language to appeal to large amounts of moviegoers.
The opening scene was captivating. Sherlock Holmes stands in a dark room with a rather large adversary standing right outside. There’s a voice-over of Holmes explaining how he is going to disarm this man using very specific techniques while there is a slow motion shot of him using those techniques on the goon. It’s like a tutorial. Then we are back with Holmes in the moment and he executes his planned attack quickly and with precision. In those short minutes the audience can deduct this movie is going to be badass. Jude Law was an excellent Watson, because he worked so well with Robert Downey, Jr. They had such great chemistry. The only slight trouble I had with the movie was, surprisingly, Rachel McAdams’ character, Irene Adler. I was not emotionally invested in her character at all; it was quite the opposite. Every time she was on the screen I would plainly ask, “Why?” That is not to say she did not perform well, she is a fine actress, but her role in the plot I felt was uninspired. Also, Watson’s fiancee, Mary, played by Kelly Reilly was immaterial. She really could have been a faceless character. However, I am assuming their characters will be more developed in the next movie. Mark Strong played an alright villain, but the movie was all about Watson and Holmes’ methodical, resourceful ways in which they solved cases. It was really fun to watch!

However, there is something about the movie I read in a review that really upset me and left a bitter taste in my mouth.
The New York Post reports the director’s “plan to put a gay spin on the relationship of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in his new movie about the detective and his sidekick could backfire.” Though this may be true considering the stifled minds of America have been multiplying and propagating ignorance and intolerance, the next statement by Michael Medved is nauseating. He states, “There's not a seething, bubbling hunger to see straight stars impersonating homosexuals...I think they're just trying to generate controversy . . . They know that making Holmes and Watson homosexual will take away two-thirds of their box office. Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don't think it would be appealing to women. Straight men don't want to see it.” Who is this asshole?! He was a former critic for the post. Well thanks, Mike for putting your two cents in and making yourself look like a complete bigot. I found Sherlock and Watson’s relationship in the movie to be endearing and sweet. Of course, I know my hippie, be-who-you-are attitude is not by any means the predominant culture of America, but it can’t be that much of a minority! It is not okay for Medved to say what he said. It’s a deplorable testament of the growing, senseless idiocy poisoning America. The pomposity of his statement seethes with this shameless, unabashed imprudence that makes me want to projectile vomit. The New York Post was never a publication I admired or respected and it’s articles like this that cement my distaste for it.

I'm out.

Monday, December 21, 2009

the skinny on The Skinny

I have never felt so uncomfortable stepping into a bar as I did Friday night, walking through the doors of The Skinny in the lower east side. The lower east side- what a different place. I dunno if I can ever go back.

The Skinny

The minute my friends and I stepped foot in The Skinny I knew we had to leave immediately. Surrounded by an array of high school stereotypes, ranging from jocks to goths, there were just too many hormones flying around everywhere to see the comical situation in which we found ourselves. Not only did my friends and I feel like the oldest people there, but we felt like we were party crashing. These twelve year olds didn't need us to be there cramping their style. So we go further in, looking for some people we were suppose to meet up with, all the while I was secretly hoping they wouldn't be there because I wasn't sure the bar contained enough alcohol to diffuse the tremendous levels of discomfort we all shared. Walking past the sixteen year old, standing on a platform, dancing provocatively was enough for me to call it a night. Gyrating awkwardly, she reminded me of scenes from American Beauty, Girls Gone Wild, and various episodes of Maury. I felt dirty being there. The place was also extremely cramped, and the music aided in the strange high school feel permeating out of every crevice of the "bar." Also, the bar kind of looked like a parlor that would be in one of those really old, huge victorian homes that you see in Westchester County and can only imagine what kind of off the wall, illegal things happen in there.
Luckily, the people we were to meet up with were not there, but because they even suggested this place I began judging them harshly, and the next place we were supposed to meet may have been slightly worse. I don't even remember what it was called. It was across the street from Crash Mansion and the line was filled with dude-bros and girls stumbling all over the place. Again, not my cup of tea. Funnily enough we didn't make it into there either, but I assure you it would've been worse.
Due to the excruciating cold, we gave up on meeting them and went to this bar with a Spanish name that was pretty empty, but was playing loud, awesome music. Settling there, my friends and I had a great time dancing to music and being loud and obnoxious... well not too obnoxious. So the night wasn't a complete bust, but getting home at 2 on a Friday night? Eh, we could've done better haha

I wish I could remember the names of those other places, they just weren't as traumatizing as The Skinny. I promise it won't happen again.

I'm out.

Friday, December 18, 2009


I'm bored. I feel like I should update. But I don't really have a topic, just some random thoughts... here we goooo!

Ed Norton is mentioned in a Tribe Called Quest Song. Now I love him even more.

Also love Tribe Called Quest even more.

I'm starting to submit my writings to different places! Yay!

I'm so proud of my friend who started a publishing company and wrote a freaking book! Big ups!
Divine Apocalypse: The Beginning of the End
He's also on Twitter: novalpublishing
Get it.

My roommate and I are are discussing a joint venture involving band reviews and recruiting bands for his label. HOW FREAKIN SWEET IS THAT?!
So keep an eye out for some awesomeness.

I love old Taking Back Sunday I don't care who knows it!!

oh em geeee eeeeek!!! haha. oh boy. i love how "gun" is censored. stupid.

Going to Jersey tonight.

I got home from work at 3 am. this morning. I definitely need a new gig.

I'm hungry.


Time to start my life today.

I'm out.

one more thing... I want to dance with him(mmmm).


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

You betta werk... Netwerk that is...

I've had this on my mind for a few weeks. Just thought I'd let it loose on the world...

Getting to New York is only one step in this ongoing process to attain "success." There are numerous other necessary things to do in order to achieve my goal(s). One of which is networking. Networking. Now, this action is incredibly difficult considering there are right ways and wrong ways to make connections. Never have I actively networked with a clear understanding of what I wanted to get out of the connection, not because it wasn't important to me, but because that's just not how I operate. I've been to a few parties in the city and have witnessed some shameless, embarrassing attempts at networking that just make you extremely uncomfortable for both parties, for instance- Picture a raging dance party where two people are standing right outside the door, getting some air, maybe smoking a cig, when all of a sudden, bursting into their private conversation the networking assailant appears. This person loudly interjects useless information they believe somehow pertains to a conversation they carelessly interrupted, then immediately delves into a rehearsed introduction of who they are and what they do, pulling out a wad of business cards in the process and shoving one of them at the unsuspecting stranger who was innocently catching up with a friend. The assailant stands there presumptuously, waiting for a response and there's dead silence. The kind of still silence you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. So, what I'm trying to say is - DON'T DO THAT, it's creepy.
Here's my strategy at getting my foot in the door (we'll find out if it words ha): Show talent. Be nice. Repeat. And it doesn't help that if I don't like someone there is a very small chance I will continue a relationship with them. Not worth it. I mean unless it means a once in a lifetime opportunity. Then, alright, I may just swallow my pride and compromise? Maybe? ha. I just feel like networking should be fun, and you should enjoy the company of the people who can potentially help you. I have a friend who is killer at networking, because he's mastered the art of showing genuine interest... or he's mastered masking the superficiality of it all... same thing? Either way, he's good.
It's all about who you know guys and dolls. Plain and simple. What a world.

And today I am off to interview for a grown up job. sweet.

I'm out.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Subway Antics

I have not been gracing the NY social scene as of yet, considering my entire life has just been moved into an unfurnished room in Brooklyn and well, some organization is necessary. My room looks like a crack den right now, black garbage bags of miscellaneous items strewn about, full suitcases with clothing spilling out, a nest of blankets and pillows on the ground for me to sleep until I can procure a bed. It's great though, I'm so happy to finally be home. I am very pleased with my living situation and I'm insanely lucky to have such awesome roommates.

I had my first day of work yesterday- I was late. Nervous and excited, I left the house a few minutes after I planned and hopped on the train. After getting to Canal Street and running for my life towards the Q train, I slumped into the seat relieved- until, all hell broke loose. There was an announcement over the speakers, explaining the police had been called. "Oh, what now," I thought to myself, "This cannot be happening right now." It was. One plain clothes officer following a disgruntled passenger came to the car and pointed to an older gentleman who had been sitting on the train before I got on, reading with his briefcase in his lap. "That guy," the passenger with the policeman says, "Him." Without hesitation the plain clothes cop sternly asks the man to step off the train. Utterly bewildered, the man stands up and immediately begins asking what he did. Then 3 or 4 more police officers come running to assist with the obviously overpowering perpetrator. This poor man looked like someone's dad or grandfather, hardly anyone who would be wielding scissors and threatening passengers.Yes. Apparently, there was a man who pulled out scissors, "threatened" someone with them, then jumped off the train. So, the wrongly accused stood at the wall while three police officers thoroughly searched his person and briefcase, only to find papers, a plastic knife (oh my!), and a banana. The entire time they searched, the man asked that they show him a little respect, him being an elder and all, but the police laughed haughtily and ripped through the man's belongings without saying a word to him. After finding nothing, the plain clothes cop came back on the train and asked if anyone had seen anything. Silence, then someone said no. He then asked if the older man was on the train already or if he got on more recently. Someone said he'd been sitting there. The officer looked amused as he walked off the train, ordering the other officers to cease their aggressive inquisitions. Then the strangest thing happened. They all started to smile at each other. Giving the "perp" back his suitcase they told him it was all procedure, but I don't remember if they apologized or not. The older man seemed extremely relieved and told the cops he understood. I even heard laughter. WTF?!
The entire time this was happening I couldn't help but to think, he's black, that's the only reason he's being targeted. Then I thought of that phrase driving while black, and thought damn, he wasn't doing anything. He was just living while black and that's enough to almost get arrested. Maybe my view of the judicial system is a little jaded (to say the least). I'm glad he wasn't arrested, though and intrigued by the subsequent events. Also, during the fiasco, there was a couple sitting across from me frowning the entire time. The woman whispered, "police brutality,"to the man sitting next to her. I was watching those cops like a hawk, preparing myself to be a witness in a case if anything should happen, my hand clutching my phone ready to document any mistreatment. Luckily, there was nothing worthy of reporting. It was all just a big misunderstanding that caused me to be late for my first day of work. Lamesauce. Work was-interesting. The store is very different then the one I'm used to, but it was just my first day so I'll refrain from formulating any judgments.

I'm out.

Thursday, December 3, 2009


In Yonkers. FML.

Brooklyn baby, one day we'll be reunited. On a cool day in December we will meet, and Yonkers will be forgotten. All of the horrid memories, the nightmarish days, the incessant madness- poof! Gone in an instant when I cross the threshold of my wonderful burrough. I can feel my energy leaking out of me. Yonkers, darling you're breaking my heart. We have to go our separate ways. These past few days have been a haze. Light blending into dark with such devious ease. I'm trying my hardest not to sink to my knees and beg for release from this incorrigible hell. Alone in my deepest desires to flee from thee, I wait for the one person who can release me. One person who has been running errands, in and out for days, going to work, preparing for the holidays, forgetting an increasingly impatient guest (feeling more like a prisoner). And all I can do is wait and wait and wait, my eagerness depleting along with my energy. Hopefully I won't be completely diminished by the time Brooklyn and I reunite. I can barely type anymore ........................................

I'm (soooooooooo) out (of it).

WAAAIT!! ANOTHER THING!! (HOW COULD I FORGET!) pardon my french but ef that ruling ny. how the hell could this happen in such a liberal state? this is truly getting ridiculous. the amount of injustice in the "legal system" is already unbearable and the continuation of such blatant ignorance is so incredibly shameful. How could this happen in "progressive America?" My love for NY and my already dwindling hope for humanity is rapidly depreciating. I loved what NY stood for, or what I thought NY stood for. Now there's this disgusting haze of disappoint suffocating the streets of the city that never sleeps (now the city that encourages injustice). There's so much wrong with this city and I was willing to love it anyway, but then this happened. C'mon NY, you're breaking my heart.

Not you Kermit, you're okay. you rock.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Helloooo NY!!!

I'm baaack!

Packing for my move was so strange. Everything that I experienced and lived in VA was also getting packed away in a different sense, and as I folded clothes and shoved books into my book bag I began to grasp the infallible change that has occurred within me these last months. It really has been like a story, with a definitive beginning, middle, and end along with rising action, klymaxx (haha), and all the rest. And what an extraordinary ending. I left on such a fantastic note.
So here's my life in VA packed away in suitcases and such...

Note how uneasily neat everything appears. It reminds me of Nietzsche's Appolinian/Dionysian feuding dualities. A violently raging, chaotic reality beneath an appearance of perfect serenity.

After months of rehabilitation and self-discovery I find myself back where I started, in the place where it all began- a slowly deteriorating house in Yonkers. Being here makes me feel strange. Not exactly like I'm reverting back to who/what I was before, but a certain sinking feeling, like staying here for any extended amount of time (more than 3 days) will eventually lead to self-destruction. Luckily, I am not staying here, but moving into my apartment in Brooklyn. However, when that is has not been discussed which makes me a tad nervous and slightly irritated. Alas, I cannot complain for my family has been such an extraordinarily dependable entity in my life.

For these past months I have been slightly withdrawn from certain emotional connections for (to me) obvious reasons, but have since shed that defense mechanism because though being numb is sometimes necessary, being in a constant state of aloofness is just plain unhealthy. Though I thought I was protecting myself, there was something I knew was missing. I wasn't entirely whole because I kept myself from feeling. Gah, I love learning. Isn't life awesome?!

And now I am ready to take on the big city! There are so many things I want to realistically accomplish, so again I'm planning and executing. You can call me the executioner (only if you so desire).

I shall leave you with a song I am currently infatuated with...


I'm out.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


I was on the metro today on my way into DC just to gather some things from my friend's place and I witnessed a perspective changing event, which makes me feel mildly exploitative in that I was covertly relishing in someone else's experience, comparing it to my own and feeling that much more dynamic (and privileged?) being exposed to new, different ideas on humanity. Sign Language. Never have I thought of sign language in the way I should have, as an extremely complex culture that heavily accentuates the importance of expression through hands and body movements. Like any language, sign language formulates unique ideas, thoughts, opinions sometimes nobody can understand, but users of that language.
So these four guys got on the train and sat pretty close to me and immediately started signing. One guy was really animated, telling a story as his friends intently watched and interjected their thoughts occasionally. I felt like I was intruding on their conversation so I stopped sneaking glances at them and presumed pondering about life. Ah life. Ugh life. Yeah... life.
Then, I thought about the way people who speak take for granted the inflection in their voice, the way they change their tones and raise their voices, but then I thought what a horrible thing to think! These friends on the metro obviously had no trouble understanding each other using their own form of communication. There were distinctive ways in which they all signed that were unique to their own personality.

I hope I don't sound completely ignorant or offend anyone who uses sign language, I will never fully understand the complicated culture.

These are just my (incomprehensible) ramblings.

I'm out.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Holy... J.Tillman

So, a lot has happened since the last time I updated. Geebus. A LOT. Okay. I'm officially moving to Brooklyn and must admit, I am quite terrified, but also pleased with myself. I had a plan and I executed it... bitch. Sorry, that was uncalled for.
Throughout the entire process I deflected the negativity and realized my dream. Ugh, that sentence sounds like it was pulled out of some shitty self-help book. Apologies. Last night, however, is the true reason I'm writing this evening.

J. Tillman at the 9:30 Club

DC has a thing for nines it seems. Anyway, the 9:30 Club is this awesome venue down the street from dc9. The performance space is a lot bigger than dc9's, but certainly not overwhelmingly, obnoxiously big. I must say though, the outside of the 9:30 club looks like a penitentiary. Inside was actually a really decent space. There's an upstairs with seating kind of like bleachers, which I thought was really nice for people who just want to sit down and enjoy the entertainment (boring people). When you first walk in there's this huge space and a nicely sized stage. There were bars on either side of the large room and a cute little window to order food from. I noticed there were little 9:30 club cupcakes behind the food counter and read a flier posted near the window that explained they pass them out at a certain time. Of course, we were too late to get cute 9:30 Club cupcakes. Lame.

Again I went to another show knowing nothing about an artist and wound up falling in love. J.Tillman from Fleet Foxes played last night and him and the band were amazing. He's a percussionist for Fleet Foxes and you could totally tell by the music he played. There was a lot of emphasis on bass and drums. He even played a gong that was sitting inconspicuously at his feet. When he played it he got on his knees and just hammered into it, but with precision. The gong in no way drowned out the sound of the instruments but blended in with the melody miraculously. There was a lot of unconventional use of instruments, which reminded me of experimental theatre pieces I've seen. As the show went on, J.Tillman played a few solo songs as the rest of the band took swigs of Jameson and bantered playfully (but quietly) amongst each other, showing a sweet camaraderie that makes bands that much more humane and likable. His solo performances were some of my favorite. His voice is soft and filled with emotion. The way he drags out notes and his lyrics! Oh my gosh, his lyrics. That's what I really loved about the show. I have to post some lines from one of my favorite songs he sung (yes, I have favorites already) called Crosswinds:

We'll find each other where we promised
Where the tied is low for man and spirits
I put aside the yearning of my voice when I was young
We'll find each other where we promised.

The song is incredible recorded, but performed live it was just mind-blowing.
The steel guitar is one of my favorite instruments to watch people in a band play and there was a steel guitarist in his band! He was so serious when he was playing, intently sliding and plucking. He made me smile.
In this particular song, the bassist and J. Tillman pulled out recorders, the drummer started banging on the rim of his drums, the guitarist played chords then slapped the strings to make unnerving, sharp sounds, and the steel guitarist played frantically, clapping periodically. It was so much fun to witness. You couldn't help but be overtaken by the music and their wild energy.
At the end of the show my friend Karen and I were determined to talk to the man himself.

And we did! He was super nice and even took pictures with us. Here's the one of him and me:

He told us while we were taking pictures that he looks scary in them. haha! No comment.
Recap: The performance was spectacular and he was really down to earth. Yet another great night at an awesome show. Here's "Master's House" performed at Popcirkus:

Incredible. Check him out!

PS- It took everything in me to refrain from referring to J.Tillman as JT.

PPS- His beard is awesome.

I'm out.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Sweden is exporting more than Volvos and Saabs these days...

Za Haus of Sveden- Sofia Talvik
(The House of Sweden)

A few weeks ago I trekked down to icky Georgetown from the comfort of my friend's place near Adams Morgan to go see a woman perform I knew nothing about in the basement of a very snazzy building. I hopped on the bus, not really knowing what to expect. As I walked up to the building I remembered I had been outside of it before, sitting on a bench across from its grand entrance, getting distracted by the ostentatious architecture and wondering who the hell designed such an extravagant building. Thanks to Wikipedia now I know, Gert WingÄrdh and Tomas Hansen. Awesome. I walked up to it and entered the lobby, a little intimidated by the large windows and high ceilings. The guard looked at me and smiled as I timidly asked where the concert was held. They directed me downstairs where I descended this beautifully crafted floating staircase down to a level where a miniature, very shallow indoor pond sat inconspicuously. I had to do a double take. I'm lucky I didn't fall in. EXAGGERATING. I think there was railing there haha, but you just don't expect to see something like that inside! Well, when you enter such a magical place anything goes I suppose.
Finally I made my way into the small room set up with tables where people sat leisurely drinking as they watched this woman perform. I came in late. What else is new. So I stood in the back, but had a very decent view because the room was so small. The first thing I thought when I saw her was, "Oh no. I almost forgot my aversion to female singers. I hope this doesn't suck." Sofia Talvik was phenomenal. Her voice was beautiful. It was only her and another guy with a guitar, but their sound was so strong. Not overpowering, but filled with emotion that swept over you like a serenely thoughtful wave, calming yet stirring. She uses repetition a lot and usually I feel like repetition's a cop out, but there are artists who have mastered the art and make it their own, Sofia is one of those artists. Her song Burning Fields which you can download for free at was actually one of my favorite songs. A bit depressing, but you know how I'm into that ish. I must say she does sound slightly better live, but I'm not disappointed by the sound at all. She was so endearing on stage, not an ounce of an ego, just so sweet. She kept encouraging pepole to stay and talk to her after her set. Her new album is called Jonestown, named after the horrible massacre. That song is also really beautiful in a painfully, heart wrenching way. You can hear that song on her website.
Everyone's always crying about getting new music, so check her out!

Sofia Talvik

I'm out.

Friday, November 6, 2009

NYC Trip and Other Things

My NY trip was so much more than I expected. I stayed with these wonderful people...

photo via stalkerbook

And had the most wonderful time!

Friday night was a Gender Bender party, which is an event hosted by some guy I forget the name of who treated me very rudely, by the way, for no apparent reason. Anyway, those two gentlemen above performed in two extremely entertaining skits. I don't have their performances from that night, but I have another one that is utterly amazing.

You may want to watch it on youtube b/c it's cut off here. STUPID BLOGSPOT.

Saturday night was just lots of running around to different parties trying to stay dry. I was complaining like a mofo because I was wearing high heels- I NEVER wear heels, what possessed me to wear them that night is beyond me. I wish I had pictures from the night... well Shane does. Hopefully he'll post them and/or send them to me.

The rest of the weekend was just lots of hanging out and seeing people I hadn't seen in months, which was fantastic.

Oh I did go to Papacitos which is suppose to be this really famous Mexican restaurant. Apparently anybody who's anybody knows about it. I never heard of it before. haha it was really good, though.

Oy it was my friend's birthday on Monday! Shout out to the Nishmeister! I owe her like a huge party. For cereal.

On a more serious note....

Since I made my decision to move I have been getting a lot of unwanted advice that is neither constructive or conducive to my plans. Instead, people are giving me drastic alternatives...
"Move back to Miami for a while"
"Wait for your mother to move to NY" (who knows when that will be)
"Substitute teach in Miami" (I'm just not good with kids... no offense kids and Miami is OUT OF THE QUESTION, ugh.)
And then my favorite is using scare tactics to dissuade me from moving. For some reason people seem to think I'm this oblivious, gullible novice at life who is destined to be taken advantage of at every turn. With all due respect, I can handle myself. I'm not claiming to be all-knowing, but I do have some common sense and a slight grasp on reality, enough not to get myself killed- I hope. So, with that said I would really appreciate it if people would stop being so negative and aid my cause with positive thoughts and serious help. Please.

Oh and another thing. Regrets. Now, I don't have many of them in my life because I think everything that happens is a learning experience and I love learning. However, I must say there are little things that I do regret saying or doing in certain circumstances that just bother me for months on end until finally I get too exhausted to keep criticizing myself and give up. I won't go into details because well, I'm too proud. Anyway, I just wanted to mention regrets because it irritates me when people say they don't have them.
"What's one thing you regret in your life?"
"Nothing. I don't have regrets."
-Instant liar. Don't trust anyone who says that. They're probably psychotic.

Alright, so I'm trying to get over this weird cold thing I contracted sometime this weekend. I'm coughing everywhere. EVERYWHERE. ALL THE TIME. It's seriously not cool. I'm trying to go out tonight but don't want to be a walking bio-hazard. Maybe I'll wear one of those ridiculous masks all night. It will either be seen as mysteriously sexy or obnoxiously cautious and plain sad.

I shall leave you with this...


I'm gonna go make some tea or something...

I'm out.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

What About Your Friends

A lot has happened to me this past week in regards to the development of my increasingly decisive plan for the future. It feels really good to know what I want finally and stop lying to myself for whatever ridiculous reasons. I'm still really content (happy?), which is something I'm making note of, because one, I don't think I've ever felt like this for an extended period of time, and two I don't want anyone thinking I'm depressed or anything and that's the reason I'm moving haha. That's silly. Okay, maybe not that silly. Anywho, my decision has been made and I'm making moves to be in the NYC vicinity by the end of November/ beginning of December. Woohoo!

Until I leave though there are many things I must do! I still haven't been to a lot of places of note and of course I must meet more people! People are fun. Well, some people.

I wanted this update to be epic considering I haven't written in a few days and I probably won't be writing while on my fantastical, splendiferous trip to NY, but now I can't think of anything insanely interesting to write about... boooooooo

Oh! There is something I did want to talk about! Friends.

Yes, friends. Wonderful beautiful surprising friends.
I can't get over what luck I've had these past few months meeting the people I have and really digging who they are and what they're about. Everyone I've met has been extremely generous and helpful, just plain fantastic. I never expected so many fortuitous happenings in so little time. So thank you friends =) There are a lot of crazies out there and for some reason I was able to avoid them... on the most part.

And to my friends for years I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support and your kindness. Ugh, this is getting too mushy for me. Time to end it. haha

I love you guys =/
you rock.

I can't freakin wait to leave tomorrow!!! AHHHHH!!! I'm like so excited. Okay.

I'm out.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

It's up to you New York, NY

Alright. I've been bumbling around this city for a few months now and I must say I have thoroughly enjoyed what DC has to offer, but more and more I am wondering if spending a year here is what I really want.

I have met a ton of really awesome people. People with good hearts and great minds that have shared their lives with me =) It's good to know I have friends here!

However, there is this itching I can't ignore. This feeling buried beneath my happiness. A discomfort. An uneasiness. A question. What can DC offer me? As a "writer," whatever that means, NY just seems like the best place for me. Politics is what runs the district, hands down, and for a while I was trying to find a niche for myself amidst health care reform and various other significant political battles, but have been unsuccessful. I like politics, but having a career in the field does not stir up any awe-inspiring feelings. I'm a wayward soul haha I'm just restless here. I need my city. I miss my city.

So I'm going back.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen I am returning to the NYC after months of serious deliberation and an accumulation of amazing experiences. I have a plan. All I have to do is execute it! I even have a deadline! I'm so ready.

I'm not sure how everything just clicked, but it did. NY.

I love you.

I'm out.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Home is where the heart is....

Looking for an apartment aka my sanity has been slow going on account of my unbelievably hectic schedule. This whole 24 hours in a day thing is becoming a major problem.
More and more I am realizing I need my own space. There's this ceaseless, burning desire to have a place to call "my home," devoid of nagging, judgmental family members or arbitrary (antedeluvian) rules
-More on this later...
Because there are not enough hours in the day, I have to sleep now or I won't get any sleep at all.

I'm (passing) out.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

shaken not stirred, please.

The G????N. (The Gibson. AKA Obnoxiously Elusive/Exclusive hang out)

Pea coat-J Crew cardigan-Diesel jeans-Calvin Klein tie-Michael Kors pumps. That ladies and gentlemen is the attire of the G????N, a tiny yet (almost peevishly) swanky hole-in-the-wall bar off of U street behind an unmarked door. For some odd reason they let us vagabonds in, of course, not before feverishly checking this "list" haplessly hanging from a clip board and going inside to make sure there was "enough room" for us. So, we go in and there's hardly anyone (awkward silence). We sit at the bar where there is a vast array of alcohol lining the walls. The bar tender gives us a rundown on the unique drink choices and tells us the drinks are ""hand made" -duhhhh- and that they have their own brands of alcohol. This place is known for its cocktails and as I looked at the drink menu I quickly decided I had no idea what I wanted. I know nothing about cocktails or martinis or anything of that nature haha so the menu could've been in Mandarin and would've been just as helpful. The bar tender asked my friend and I what we like and we told him, I like sour drinks that aren't too sweet, and my friend wanted something with pineapple. Within ten minutes he whipped up the best drinks for the both of us, unique to our different tastes. He had magic hands. The drinks were crazy delicious. It's a pricey place, but after having a cocktail there I understand why.


What an awesome name. And what a good time. The place is cool. Bar downstairs, bar upstairs plus an awesome space to dance. Though I must admit the crowd was a little weird that night (I was accosted by a Russian man who went on a tirade about what I was wearing, telling me I was "hiding" behind my glasses and my beanie, then proceeded to compliment me numerous times- which I did NOT mind because I'm conceited haha- and then tell me about a Jamaican poet he was really into- I also think he was there with his wife and they were swingers). I had so much fun though, dancing wildly on the stage and downing yummy drinks.

I went some other places this weekend, but I can't remember the names of any of them! So, I'll hold off on writing about them.

Time crunch again. I gotta go to work. Uggghhhhhh

I'm out.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Linklater's My Homeboy

I recently saw Slacker thanks to the beautiful invention of netflix. I freaking love netflix. What a genius idea.
Anywho, I'm beginning to discover a trend in my (elitist) movie tastes. I am a polysyllabic word enthusiasts to the point of severe, possibly unbearable pomposity. I am an exuberant believer in substance, none of this inconsequential happy ending nonsense. So movies devoid of even the slightest bit of any intellectual thought, I hate. Yes. Hate. Okay, that's a strong emotion- dislike... ardently dislike. My movie tastes have evolved from Disney delusions to Linklater lunacy. Somewhere in the evolution something seemed to be lost. Innocence maybe? A sense of wonder and unimaginable possibility? Replaced by sweet sweet pessimism.

Pessimism is Richard (Pessimistic) Linklater's middle name. He thrives off of the idea of "hopeless humanity" and illustrates his disgust with society through these characters with huge vocabularies (which I am immensely jealous of) and anarchist and atheist ideals, completely anti-establishment. His movies are like stream of consciousness writing. He's like the James Joyce of film, shifting and shaping ideas with a chaotic complexity that arouses your senses and encourages thoughts of your own. However, in Slacker he does not delve into the privilege his characters embody while they curse the deterioration of society. I'm just saying education=privilege. He does get into though in Waking Life- quite possibly my favorite movie... okay, one of my favorite movies. So, I can't fault him for not putting that reality in Slackers.

Anyway, my point in this post was I need to stop being so snobbish when it comes to movies. Hey, maybe I should give that romantic comedy a try. Maybe rent a mindless feel good movie. Curl up and watch every Tyler Perry movie EVER. Nah, just kidding, ugh especially about Tyler Perry-- do not get me started about that hot mess.

I should stop being so mean, though. It's not like I don't have my guilty pleasures.
Yup, I'm about to incriminate myself. It's okay, I don't mind... I kinda deserve it.

My Best Friend's Girl
All the Scream movies
She's All That
National Treasurer Movies (yes both of them)
Never Been Kissed
The Glass House
Must Love Dogs (I have a thing for the Cusack)

Okay that's enough. I'm severely embarrassed.


I saw it the other night! I almost forgot to mention it! I really liked it and know it will be an instant cult classic. It hasn't even been out in theaters that long haha, but I am most certainly calling it now! The cast was great and of course the cameo was fantastic. Woody Harrelson was just so lovable and that adorably gangly Jesse Eisenberg, so cute. I hope we see more of him in the future. Oh yeah and the girls were awesome too, not annoying or whiny. That's been so overdone, so it was nice that they were bad ass.

I'm out.

Oh wait one more of my guilty pleasures...

JUST KIDDING!!! Never saw it. Never will.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

All Work and No Play- NO WAY...well maybe

I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what profession I want to pursue that's not going to ultimately ONE- turn me into an impenitent, soulless bastard, TWO, drain me of my fervor for life, or THREE bore me out of my mind. Those are my guidelines. I was thinking working for a nonprofit organization would be my best bet. Being at the gift shop has really made me realize that I am unfulfilled- excuse me- dramatically, cripplingly unfulfilled. I feel like I'm wasting away there, I could be seriously helping people, not telling them where they can get a "yummy" brunch in the area. Every hour I spend there I feel my brain cells disintegrating at a steady, rapid pace. So in order for me to spare myself impending ineptitude, I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER JOB!!
I've been doing some research and there are quite a few organizations I would love to work for including, grassroots campaigns , fund for the public interest, or even environment america. Sigh. Yes. However, I know I cannot complain what with the seemingly doomed job market and the increasing rate of job loss, which is just devastating, but this is a step in the right direction... right? Maybe. I'm not sure if it will work either, and the fact that Eric (A-hole) Cantor was quoted in the article is exceedingly irritating. I'm not sure when I began actively disliking him, I just know I've never stopped since.

In other news, I am extremely happy that people are actually reading my blog! Thanks guys, it makes me feel all warm and tingly inside =)

I have finally finished reading this book:

I have been literally reading it for MONTHS now and it feels like an anchor, no FIVE anchors have been lifted. I was getting really pissed with the subtle messages of female subservience and necessary patriarchy- chauvinistic much? And thought I wasn't going to be able to make it through. I'm glad I did though, because it gave me fuel to unabashedly denounce the very existence of the author. No, I'm kidding, but he obviously had some issssues with women.
There were just so many different ideologies, sociological and philosophical inferences/suggestions in the book at some points it was a little dense. I found his theories on humor, religion and especially sex extremely fascinating, but there was always lurking behind his apparent genius, that little setback- HE WAS SEXIST. It's a shame because he had some really cool ideas, but I just can't get over some things he said, namely in one part of the book a woman is speaking and she says it's partly a woman's fault if she gets raped. YUP. HE SAID THAT. So, yeah. You understand my ambivalence. Ugh. I wish I could write more about it, but I have to get ready for worrrrkkkk. What else is new?

Hi, my name is Chris and I'm a workaholic.


I'm OBSESSED with this song.

I'm out.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Town and Such

I wanted to dance, and boy did I cut a rug when I went there. It was so much fun!

It was late and I was in bed when I got that tempting phone call, "I'm going to Town tonight, just wanted to know if you wanna come?" My immediate reaction was to toss the covers back over my head and pass out until morning, but there was something telling me not to let this potentially awesome outing slip through my fingertips. So I went. Walking there in a dreamy haze, I began to question my sanity. After all, I had work at 8:30 am the next day. Whatevs. It was worth it. I danced like my life depended on it, like if my feet stopped moving so would my heart. Yeah, pretty intense. The drinks though were RIDICULOUSLY expensive annnd the bar tender totally liked my guy friend more than me and made him stronger drinks- ass. My wallet was not happy that night, but I most certainly got happy haha. The music was really fun and loud, I also really liked the smoking area outside. There were lots of interesting people out there just yapping away to anyone who would listen. Awesome. I also did not escape the conversation that usually emerges when people are drunk- race. Shit, I dread it. It's something I always expect to come up, though, for one reason or another. My friend was telling me I wasn't "ghetto." No, I didn't roll my eyes at his assertion, nor did I get upset at the obviously prejudice overtone, but I did listen. I listened to what he had to say and I responded accordingly, "I'm me." I've battled with what that meant for a long time, and at this point in my life I'm pretty happy with who I am. So, comments like that usually don't affect me, and by no means do I judge the people who make them. I've taken enough race courses, not to mention have numerous experiences of my own, that have allowed me to be objective and understanding towards other people's perceptions of race, because that's all race is- perception, at least I think so. However, don't get me wrong, sometimes it gets tiring hearing how "white" I am haha.
whew, anyway, did I mention, I was sooooo stoked to finally go dancing! FINALLY haha, Recap: I met some really fun people, had the inevitable (drunk) talk about race, and got groped by a stranger, all in all it was a fantastic night.

In other news...

Work still blows. I am looking for apartments, which is proving to be a lot easier than I anticipated. I'm going to see two today. SAWEEET! Plus, I'm still looking for a big people job. C'mon, college degree, don't fail me now.

I have been avidly reading other people's blogs lately and there's one blog I find absolutely hilarious called Dating is My Hobby, where this girl chronicles her dating (mis)adventures. I, for one, think dating is weird and scary and hearing about the awkward, downright uncomfortable situations she deals with cements my apprehension towards the strange process, but I also feel like it's kind of inevitable...?
I shudder at the thought of that date I went on a few months ago. I didn't even know it was a date until it was too late haha. Gah, I hope I'm not the only person bewildered by the subject. Someone out there shares my perplexity, I know it!

I have an annoyingly busy schedule next week, but I will not let work consume me!
I'm ferociously hungry right now, it's pretty out of control. My stomach is totally eating itself...ewwww.

Adams Morgan Day today, I'm going to try to go exploring and see what all the hoopla's about. Hopefully I'll make it out there at a reasonable time. Plus, it's beautiful out today! I LOVE FALL.

I'm out.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

DC9/The Antlers.


Walking into DC9 you would never suspect that at the back of the bar lurking behind a fairly hidden door are stairs leading up to a modest, yet amazing performance space. I for one really like it because it's so intimate. The stage is barely raised so you feel like you're on the same plane as the musicians, the musical experience is more collective, universal, not solitary and cold. Big venues tend to drain the emotion from music. Maybe it's the endless echoing from one side of a huge stadium to another that the soul of the music gets lost in translation. I remember going to a Kings of Leon show at MSG and though I love the band and know their lyrics are more like rustic poetry and unrefined sonnets all of their passion behind the songs that inspired me was swallowed by the massive crowd and callous concrete. Venues like DC9, though give me hope that music will not turn into sounds, devoid of energy, intention, or zeal. A venue like this really makes you feel at home with music, meshing your reality with the musicians', becoming an active participant in the melody. The band I went to see last night embodied one of the many kind of experiences I love having at a show and only certain venues can provide that experience: Overwhelming feeling.


OMG. I mean, they were so mind-blowing. I went, first being warned by a few people that I would have an emotional break down a good fifty times before their set ended, which terrified and excited me. I had to see this band. Someone played before them, but as usual I had no idea who they were and wasn't in the mood to find out. The Antlers got on stage and I smiled to myself, these guys can't possibly cause any emotional dishevel... wrong. The album they performed, Hospice, is a heart wrenching album full of life, pain, relationships, love, and loss all based around one concept- a girl dying of cancer. It's a beautiful, persistent sadness in their songs that makes them so alluring. How could someone enjoy music so depressing? When it's done well. There are only three of them, Peter Silberman- dreamy vocals, Michael Lerner- comforting percussion, and Darby Cicci- mystical keyboards. They were a trio of delightful disillusionment. A threesome of cheery discombobulation. Triplets of hopeful consumption. It was a strange sensation listening to them, I almost felt guilty I was enjoying this painful music. I was so entranced I forgot where I was a few times. It was astounding. I would definitely go see them again.

Man, I love shows.

The Antlers @ the Black Cat.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Okay so I've been to a few places of note, and some that were painfully boring.

Awesome venue- it's upstairs, but on the ground floor is a bar area, which seemed pretty cool.

So, I went there to see some band I've never heard of but some of their music sounded vaguely familiar. It was fun, but I'm not sure if I'd go see them again, but I will definitely be back at the Cat. I heard about Black Cat before from some coworkers and already had some apprehensions on going there. They told me the place would be filled with the textbook teenage rebels who hate their parents, die their hair green, and act as obnoxious as possible in public to receive the attention they don't get at home- ahhhhhh high school. Uh... actually, I did witness a few of those pubescent miscreants, but they were surprisingly calm, enjoying the show. The crowd was interesting, a mixture of twenty-somethings to fifty-somethings sipping beers, hanging out at the bar. One thing that did bother me though was no one was really dancing! That, of course, is not the fault of Black Cat but of these strange crowds who seem to frequent the last few shows I've been to... just too terrified to shake their groove thang. I mean, it's not going to kill you to loosen up at a concert! Ugh, I need to go to a dance party like stat. I'm feeling stifled.
Also, Black Cat reminded me of Iona's room from Pretty In Pink, very retro. The floors were black and white checkered and there was intimate seating in the back, which I almost didn't notice at first, but was a pleasant surprise. I really need to update like right after I go to these places or else it just seems rushed and not to mention uninspired, I'm digging quite a hole for myself but I don't remember much else haha. I'll be back there though... eventually...argh.

Weird place. I mean, I didn't hate it, but it's definitely not a place to frequent on the weekends. Well, it was nice because I was hanging out with cool people, but it's not a place I would suggest for a crazy night out, or a place to chill and soak in the atmosphere. There were too many people and the music was too loud for it to be a spot to unwind. Though, there is a drink that will ef you up guaranteed. It's deceptively called Sweet Tea, but contains lots of vodka. It's so good you can't taste a trace of alcohol. Delicious. Also, I must commend the place for having their own drink creations like the organic pomegranate martini which sounds absolutely delectable. However, I am not a fan of really sweet drinks and their raspberry ice tea contains more sugar than should be allowable in any drink anywhere ever. I almost went into shock after one sip.

Common Wealth Gastropub
LAME. I don't even know where to begin. It may not have helped that the place was almost empty or that you could barely hear the music playing, but I was not impressed. It was a saturday night and no one was there! Some sports channel was on and I was more interested in that than the happenings in the bar. I don't even like sports. I don't even remember what sport I was watching. Not fun.

In other newssss

I am working a whole lot as I have mentioned in my last entry and have been staying in DC quite a bit more often than I suspected. I love it. DC is the shit. Apartment hunting today. Wish me luck!!


I'm out.

Friday, September 25, 2009

My b

How mortifying. I haven't updated in a week. I have no excuse except, I started my new job and it's eating up my hours like a fat kid eats... well anything. Bad analogy, my apologies. Hey that rhymed! ANYWAY, a lot of things are happening in my life right now, good things... I guess. I'm happy...still... somehow, and I am not trying to figure out why I'm simply enjoying it. Anyway, I have not given up on reviewing cool, fun spots in DC, on the contrary, I have been visiting quite a few "popping joints" and have come to many conclusions about DC's night life or as I like to affectionately call it, social disarray. I have pieced together that it's a jumble of so many different ideologies, pseudo-intellectuals, douche bags, dreamers, avid believers, and mostly people just looking for some kind of complexity in their menial lives. However, that seems to be universal not something exclusive to DC, and I don't mean for that last part to sound as harsh as it does.
DC social life is a roller-coaster ride of personalities, which I guess is any social scene really, but underneath this seemingly normal social disarray is something unique to this place. There is something that separates it from other cities, and I'm not sure if I know exactly what it is, but I do know politics is certainly something never to be forgotten in this city. No matter how hard I try to avoid politics, I can't. How stupid of me to try avoiding the very thing this place is built on... right? I'm an idiot, an idealistic fool. So, no matter which way I turn, which bar, club, or venue I enter, politics will always be there. Standing slyly in the corner of the room, eyes rolling over each individual seductively as it blows out a puff of its American Spirit and decides into which conversation they'll interject their wiles. That whore. Anyway...

Maybe I'll update tomorrow with a few of the places I've been. Neglecting to write is not something I want to get used to doing, after all I wanted to be a bard in high school. Did you like that? How strange that last comment was, yeah that's me alright. haha... sigh.

Is it me or is there an heir of cockiness in this entry? I better go knock myself down a few pegs. It's apple's fault. Ever since I got my iPhone I've felt like this insane bad ass and it's even affecting my writing. AHHHHH!!!

Going to Circa tonight...hmmmmmm

Friday, September 18, 2009

Sonya Renee @ Busboys and Poets

Stepping into those back doors of busboys is like entering a new frontier. Reminiscent of speakeasies you see in movies, a room packed with people, a tiny stage with modest lighting. Nervous performers announced by a boisterous host as they saunter up to the stage, some questioning their decision to put their name on the performance list. Spoken Word/ Open Mic, people unfolding themselves onstage through various forms of verbal artistry. That night there was a strange vibe in the audience. I'm not sure if it was the gloomy weather earlier in the day or a severe lack of energy, but the audience just did not seem to be receptive. That is until Miz Sonya Renee got up to perform. She immediately started her set with a call and response. The audience instantly woke up, screaming loudly at her insistence. Her first poem she wrote years ago, she confessed, it hadn't been performed for anyone but us lucky people of B&P. It was my favorite one she performed that night. A poem steeped in the harsh reality of a growing problem in America, the mass depletion of self-esteem in women. She warned women against allowing themselves to settle for men who treated them unfairly, to have faith in themselves enough to not need a man. The way she wove the story, taking the audience on an emotional roller-coaster through her thoughts and opinions, halting at one idea, expanding, and continuing on until at the end your mind was spinning and your heart was pounding. Every poem she performed was like that. A beautiful, tumultuous landscape of self-awareness and self-evaluation, coupled with words that cradled you then dropped you abruptly, bringing you back to reality. Her words dripped with a sad knowing that pulled you into the moment, her moment. It was beautiful. If ever you get an opportunity to see her... GO! And come to busboys and poets Tuesday nights at 9:30 to catch the next Sonya Renee. There is some true talent in the DC area.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

What A Reaction!

So remember how I posted that missed connections thingy? I got a few replies, one appreciating my sense of humor, the other a senseless mean-spirited critique on the event. It goes as follows...

You're not his soul-mate you were just sitting there with zero awareness. And he ran into you like a door runs into a door-stopper.
Love is free flowing. Stop being attracted to alpha males at the club!!

P.S. How big are you!? You broke his fall ! lol

1. Who is this guy?
2. Why did he feel he needed to respond with such negativity?
3. Alpha males at the club? Obviously, this guy has some issues that no amount of deprecating emails can cure.
4. It looks like we got a whiner on our hands

His email is peacepoetry, but there was nothing peaceful or poetic about that response! I don't understand how you could be mean to someone without knowing ANYTHING about them. Doesn't make sense to me. And so what if I was a big girl? What an asshole. People with issues should be banned from the internet.

I went to bus boys and poets again last night and witnessed an awesome performance by this world renowned spoken-word artist, Sonya Renee. I have to write about that experience in more detail later. Wouldn't you know it. Time crunch- AGAIN.

Until next time.

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Drunken Stumbler @ Red Derby

A night to remember. The Drunken Stumbler.
Last night I went out with some people to this awesome little spot called Red Derby in DC. The atmosphere was really chill. Motown music was playing in the background, and the nice chalkboard list of beers was a pleasant alternative to disgustingly sticky drink menus (or no menus at all) that tend to populate bars. There are a nice amount of board games available for customers to play. We chose

which was a fine choice, but I suck at it. So after a few games of all of us losing respectively except for "the jenga master" (he was annoyingly good), we decided instead to play with the blocks. All of us were intently concentrating on our own little creations when it happened. I was hit.
A man who had been sitting at the bar earlier was apparently pounding back beers like a beast and when he got up those beers came and bit him in the ass, making him stumble all the way over to my table where he fell on me. I was stunned as I felt his weight push my body towards the table. I was hurled forward onto the table and let out the most awkward screech EVER. His friends and the bar tender came and got him off of me and immediately asked if I was okay. I laughed. Yeah, I mean, it was funny. Or maybe I'm just really awkward. What else could I do? They looked at me relieved and his friends apologized profusely. The Drunken Stumbler also manager to slur an apology before making his way outside. All I could think about was that scream I made. I wish I could describe it, or better yet gotten it recorded. It was like a delayed reaction, I almost didn't scream at all. It was after the impact I bellowed that ear splitting noise. Hilarious. Sigh. I guess you had to be there.
So the bar tender came over to us, again very apologetically and gave us some beers on the house. At least I got some free beer out of it, right?!
I also made a craigslist ad in missed connections in hopes of contacting what might have been my soul mate.

I started my job today at Ford's Theatre. It's cool there, I think I'm actually pretty excited about it!

Also, I somehow got roped into making a poster for Urban for one of our contests. Shit. I dunno how that happened!
But Urban is having a sick sale for a few weeks so I have to try and not buy everything I can get my hands on.

I'm out.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Mind Your Manners!

So working in retail can be incredibly stressful at times, as some of you may know. Sometimes you feel like hurling hangers at unsuspecting shoppers, or screaming obscenities at annoying little children tearing through shirts you just folded because their parents are too self involved or indifferent, but instead you bottle up all of those aggressive urges behind a forced smile. When someone asks you a dumb question like, "Do you have a shirt with blue in it? There were sleeves. It was online," you want to shake them and ask them, "In what remote part of your tiny mind did you believe that was even the slightest bit helpful to me? That's like seriously asking me to look for a needle in a haystack," then walking away yell, "DUMBASS!"No. Instead you and the customer stand for a good twenty minutes trying to figure out wtf it is they want.

Today was my first real interaction with a crazy. A true crazy. I was working in the fitting room and letting a girl into an empty room. Her mom pushes past me to go in after her daughter and I politely tell her there is only one person to a fitting room. At this point the crazy comes out. She looks at me with seething eyes, her face gnarled into an impatient scowl, "No, I'm going to go in there and help my daughter get dressed." My immediate reaction was to throw my hands in the air as if I was a robber in one of those silent films and was just caught by the police, and simply mouth "Okayyy." So, I did that. Mind you, her daughter had reached- no, exceeded the age appropriate for parental supervision when trying on clothing. The crazy huffed and went in chuckling in disbelief. I laughed. It was ridiculous. That amount of energy should have never gone into that situation. What a waste- on little ol me! I didn't give a shit if she wanted to go in with her daughter, it was store policy. And when they were done in the fitting room, I could tell she was making it a point to not speak to me, so I asked her daughter how everything went and she was really sweet. I wished the both of them a pleasant afternoon- the crazy did not respond, and they left. That woman was a piece of work. Who knows what happened to her to make her react the way she did. Sad.

Work was pleasant enough, minus getting out at almost midnight. No fun-filled Saturday night for meeeee. wooooo. updating my blog. i'm so hip.


I'm out.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Jammin Your Java with As Tall As Lions

Since moving up here, I popped my Jammin Java cherry. It's a small venue in Vienna, perfect for that coffee-house like vibe some artist embody, and apparently for some crazy partying. I have yet to experience the latter, maybe tonight?

Anyway, on this particular night As Tall As Lions was headlining, a band steeped in heartfelt lyrical melodies, sweet subtle nuances, and surprising power. Their songs reverberate with you long after the record is off, something that is absent in a lot of bands right now. They took the stage after a band I can't remember the name of, immediately the audience began fidgeting, moving closer to the stage, buzzing with anticipation. Then they began playing. There were a few songs I was looking forward to hearing, but their entire turned out to be really good. Minus a few sound issues, the entire set was awesome. The second song they played, Ghost of York, was one of my favorites off of their self-titled album, and I was quickly partial to the live version. There was one song that entire night, though, that stuck with me the most- Stab City. The instrumental beginning of the song lulls you and Dan Nigo's voice meshes into the music, a fluid infusion of human expression and soft electronica. Then his voice breaks away from the fluidity creating this shock, a perturbation in the lullaby, making the song poignant and powerful. It was beautifully done. The energy of the entire band was contagious, especially the bassist, Julio Tavarez. He was really in every song, feeling the music. No silly persona, but someone who genuinely enjoyed the music he was playing. Their new live band addition Duncan Tootill on trumpet was also uninhibited, sweet notes echoing through brass. Robb Parr on the keys, head bobbing intuitively to the music. The drummer, Cliff Sarcona, was poised yet out of control, banging energetically in every song. The guitarist, Saen Fitzgerald stoically poised, subtly moving to the music. How people in the audience could contain their composure is an anomaly. These guys really know how to put on a show and play some killer music. It also doesn't hurt that they're just great people, living their dream. Two of the band members actually have a side project called Apres Vous, a novel concept- improvisational performance, sounds awesome.
As Tall As Lions is a band you should definitely check out. But don't take my word for it. Here's a taste.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Good Hair

As a black woman, I must say I was never consumed by the necessity to perm my hair. My mother encouraged my sister and I to keep our hair natural and not once had anything negative to say about our tight curls. I am incredibly grateful to my mother for instilling in me an "alternative" sense of beauty. Beauty that wasn't in all the magazines, I guess- it shouldn't be called alternative, but you get my point...
I love my hair. Now, there were instances in elementary school when I would dream of having long flowing hair, but quickly realized even with the best hot comb treatment my hair just would not do that haha. So, now I'm 22. I am natural and have been my entire life, and had no idea the amount of stress some black woman go through to uphold unfair societal standards. I was reading an article in the times a few weeks ago about some upheaval about the two first daughters not wearing their hair straight. I was ashamed and embarrassed that there was an article in the NEW YORK TIMES detailing the stress of women and their hair, a need to have "good hair." But it was real. Women are going through some shit to make themselves more appealing to society. It really isn't fair and stems back to the standard of beauty: white, blonde, thin women. Ugh, luckily that's changing, at least I think so. More black woman are feeling comfortable with their natural hair, and they should! It's beautiful, and so is straight hair. No one should feel ashamed about themselves. Ugh, beauty in America. That's a whole other can o' worms.
Anyway, this entry was really to share with you Chris Rock's new documentary that looks hilarious called "Good Hair."
Here's the trailer, enjoy!

Don't Speak

The president did speak on Tuesday after an embarrassing amount of opposition from "concerned" adults,insisting Obama was trying to brainwash students.

Did that sound like brainwashing to you?!

I remember a few days before he spoke I was listening to the conservative radio pundits attack Obama for wanting to speak to the children of this nation. "How dare he," They fervently asked, "go into classrooms and speak to our children?" One listener called in to say, "I don't even let my neighbor speak to my kid alone, does he think I'm going to allow this?" Hm. Okay. The Commander in Chief vs. Your Next Door Neighbor. Maybe it's just me,but I think there might be a slight difference between the two people. They were frantic! And of course we all want to give the excuse of ignorance, but we all know there is more lurking under that ignorant facade. So, Obama spoke. He did not push his leftist, socialist agenda, nor did he lure students' minds into signing up for his socialist army. He encouraged them to stay in school and work hard.

I can't help but to bring this up though I vowed in my blog I would not bring up race (how silly!), but it still does affect people, even our dear president. I would like to think that was not the case in this instance, but I guess you never know. There's also an inability in this country to compromise. There are so many strong (and stupid) minds that cannot defer their blazing ideals for a moment to listen to someone else. This goes for both parties.

I'm rambling, there's a point in their somewhere...

Oh and about race, I think people are using it as a crutch to lean on so we don't talk about class in this country. It has come to my attention that talking about class is a lot harder, but I'm not sure why... It's the real problem in this country, but doesn't seem to have a proper platform in our national dialogue.

Find this movie, and watch it.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Write Makes Right

I have been ceaselessly criticizing myself for not writing more, and yesterday I had an awesome breakthrough. I was riding the metro, my mind was kind of in a haze and I wrote a poem. I haven't written a poem in months- MONTHS. I used to write 2 or 3 a day! Anyway, my inspiration seems to have crept unsuspectingly back into my life and I couldn't be happier. For a long time I believed my inspiration came solely from negativity, heart ache, but that was naive and extremely dangerous. My desire to produce poignant writing was another reason I internalized negativity so adamantly, I thought it would fuel my writing, but instead it just ate away at other aspects of my self. I'm still learning about myself, I guess that never really stops, but I'm becoming more in-tune with who I truly want myself to be or not to be. It's also something that is a privilege, something never to be taken for granted. Not everyone can take time out of their lives for self-discovery, so I'm definitely not taking this time for granted.
Alright, that's enough mush for one afternoon.
I have work tonight then going to a coworker's for a partay then tomorrow As Tall As Lions!! wooo!

Oh life, you're too good to me.

just got the mind wires BLOWN

As you may or may not know, I love Coldplay. For a while, my favorite song off of their new album Viva La Vida was Strawberry Swing. Well, today they posted an unofficial video for the song that was amazingly directed by Ross Neil and Matt Clark, written by Ross Neil, and produced by The Pixel Hive. It's strangely beautiful. Here it is...

Monday, September 7, 2009

Ode to My Life...

"I'm sorry I'm so paranoid."

This should have been my first post! Love me some Benny. haha okay I really have to get ready for work. Why is it I'm always hit with inspiration when there's a time crunch! Maybe it's the pressure. Oh pressure.
Gotta go!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

No, you're awesome!

So I'm hanging out with people...YAY. Maybe I won't turn into a socially decrepit old hag! I'm exaggerating. I enjoy exaggerating, it makes life more exciting. I'm kidding... kind of. That sounds like the confession of a habitual liar. I'm not. Promise. Well, shit now you don't trust me haha

Anyway, I haven't updated in a while. I had a decent weekend...FINALLY and got to get to know some more of my coworkers and such. Also, I went to DC to hang out with my friend who I haven't seen in a while, but not before being exposed to an utmost awkward situation where I somehow became a fifth wheel, and had to use my wits to quickly maneuver my way out of that train wreck.. I just told them I was going to leave, but whatevs! I still got out of there fairly unscathed, well maybe leaving a tiny piece of my dignity behind. So I met up with my other friend and we had a nice drink and caught up. We also got to see some intense voguing... I have no idea how to spell that btw. It was really fun to watch.

Today I have work and I should be getting ready and not updating! whoops! I'm going to buy a pair of jeans today... the sickness, may or may not have returned. I will try to suppress it. Wish me luck.

Also, need new music. NEED. Will get on that.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

All Things Considered

I'm not sure if it's because I'm hungover, or if it's a conversation I had today that is making it impossible for me to put anything into words without immediately deleting what I wrote because it seems trite or uninspired. It's most likely the latter, but a little of the former too i suppose. The conversation I had was about showing people I know how to write. I don't have a portfolio. I haven't written an article since freshman year of college. And most of my essays are too long to send as samples. My blog? Um, shit. No! Now I feel as though maybe I've lost "it." My ability. Maybe i can't write. AHHHHHHH!! ugh, i hope not. writing's my meal ticket! plus i've grown partial to it.
I had the wonderful opportunity to take a tour of NPR today and got to see Robert Siegel and Noah Adams do the show All Things Considered, and met numerous employees. I loved it. I think I could really see myself there. I'm hoping by some miracle I'll get hired. we'll see what happens.
I went to a party last night and drank way more than I should have and I'm STILL feeling the affects. My body hates me right now. Sorry, body.

I'm off. I have some more recovering to do.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Kiss of Life

So, my friend showed me this video tonight that I absolutely had to share because of the sheer ridiculousness of it. First, though I must show you this awesome screen shot i got before i even watched the video. this picture set a precedent for the rest of the beauty that was to unfold...

And without further adieu, here is the video...

Okay. Let's talk about it.
Number 1- His face continuously popping up on the screen, the camera so close we could see through his pores and into his soul. As I told my friend, it was unnerving.

Number 2- His dancing. Um, well, you saw it.

Number 3- The song sounds like something from thunderdome or some other post apocalyptic/mystical move made in the eighties. Not quite sure if I dislike it or love it.

Also, here is a snip of an im conversation my friend and I had while I was watching the video.

MY FRIEND: so hows it going?
me: his face is unsettling
me: the song sounds like it should be in a powerful eighties movie
MY FRIEND: yes it is haha
me: like that one with tina turner in it
MY FRIEND: what do you think
MY FRIEND: of his dancing?
MY FRIEND: they have another song it sounds like professor murder
me: it's embarrassing. he should be embarrassed.
MY FRIEND: apparently though
me: i love that he's lovin it though
MY FRIEND: as i thought
MY FRIEND: girls love it
MY FRIEND: its cute when he's live too
me: omg. slowing it down just makes it so much worse
MY FRIEND: well not cute but funny
me: no it sounds like it should be in cirque
MY FRIEND: There are some many combos of evil
MY FRIEND: it's a badass song
me: is this a spoof?
MY FRIEND: no its real
me: i can't tear myself away from the dancing. between his face in the camera and the dancing i'm just so distracted

Note: things were omitted for continuity and privacy... duh. ha.

Anyway. No work until friday which means i'm left to my own devices for a few days. I think i may wonder around DC. Maybe I'll run into Ralph Johnson again... ya know the guy from earth, wind, and fire. Oh yeah! I totally like had dinner with him. he was sitting at a table right next to my aunt and me. him and his friend started talking to us. they were very friendly and it was funny because the minute he sat down next to us i was like "oh, who's this d-bag. and his irritating friend." i had no idea who he was... shows not to judge, and just what an asshole i can be. i told ralph (yeah we're on a first name basis) about my love of writing and need to be a writer, but negated to tell him that i was basically floundering around, unsure of what the hell it is i'm doing. i sounded so convincing when i told him about my passion for writing. i'm such a phony. a big fat phony. eh. i'll get my life together eventually. i have to stop beating myself up haha. i have to remember it's okay to not be sure what it is i want. Life's still awesome so i'm gonna keep enjoying it and see what happens!
Oh and screw diesel. they said i didn't "fit in" or whatever. i won't bad mouth them though i really want to. those glorified hipsters. whatevs.
Informational interview at NPR on Thursday. Hello opportunity!


Monday, August 31, 2009

Alright Alright

So it seems my paranoia has not let up as much as I would have liked. It still shows itself in sneaky ways and I don't realize it's paranoia until too late. sigh. So, my blog name still holds true. I am very much still a paranoid. However, I have gotten tons better considering I don't cower at the thought of happiness. I used to think if I was happy it was all going to come crashing down within minutes. If I allowed my self to just be in the moment and happy, everything would go horribly wrong and it would me my fault! I'm sick. I know. I'm working on it... actively. In the past I always told myself I was "working" on whatever it is that perpetuates these feelings, but now I'm realizing that simply recognizing that it's there is not enough! I need to actively fight these feelings. Also, I think I was harboring these feelings because i felt like they were apart of me, of my personality. Like, "oh, that's chris, she's cool. she's paranoid." horrible.
In other news-
I already got promoted at my new job and i haven't even started yet! haha. i'm going to be a team leader whatever the hell that means, but it sounds cool. I really like my boss she seems super nice. Life's good right now and I'm enjoying it. All I need to do now is get out of my aunt's. she's taken to bothering me about eating again, and of course has something to say about my fervent desire to get out of the house. Let me go people! Let me go!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Sleepily Deepily

I am exceptionally tired today. No idea why. I mean, I have been waking up early and going to bed late, but I never felt this drained. I guess it's finally catching up with me. I went on the one on one interview today and went through that tedious questioning process that is suppose to give the employer an insight into who i am- bs. i hate interviews. i do like meeting people though, but interviews just seem so contrived.
what am i doing!? i need to go to sleep before i pass out at work tonight.

more later.

signing off.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Grrrrl you so DIESEL

So, I went to my interview at and I think it went really well. The crowd I was with though was underwhelming and I'm hoping I didn't get swallowed up in their blah haha. I had a good time though, there were some really cool people there. I seem to get along better with guys though. Not sure why. And why is it so hard to be friends with guys? there are all these like preconceived notions and this futile pressure because you're a guy and i'm a girl. redic. oh! i met someone while i was waiting for the bus today. he came up to me and asked if the bus came and i told him it had. then he walked over a few feet away from me broke out his laptop and headphones and proceeded to break it down right there on the sidewalk. i mean, he was doin some choreoGRAPHY, it was fabulous. so now we're friends on twitter... kind of. i'm following him. whatevs, i'm proud of myself for talking to a stranger. Woop, there goes everything i learned in kindergarten.
I'm watching housewives of atlanta and i think they forgot to bleep out kim saying muthafucka. HILARIOUS. so good.
i need new music like whoa. gah it's so annoying not having any idea how to use downloading websites. i'm such a . Sigh. I need to make a lot of money quick. Maybe I should start playing the lotto. I'm hungry. I'm always hungry.

I love them.
What should I write about? lalalala
I should probably get a grip huh? NAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OMG. Can we talk about how petty the housewives are? I guess not. It is a show after all.
Ummmm CONFESSION: I kinda would like to meet PC from NYC Prep. Yes, i'm a twelve year old. Speaking of 12 year olds, twilight's new movie is coming out soon-gag choke cough vomit. Oh and can someone please tell hollywood to hold off on romantic comedies for a while- and for a while i mean stop making them completely. ugh they're so STUPID!!!
I need a new hobby. Maybe i'll start collecting stamps. These are cool...

I do want to start reading comic books. Like for reals. Okay... I'm babbling.
I'm out!