Mmmm Feelings

I'm not sure why for the past few days I have been having trouble figuring out exactly what to put in my blog. I realize there's no right or wrong entry, but to immediately delve into my feelings at this point in my blog would be a little strange, no? YES. There have been many observations I've been meaning to share, but feel either too lazy to put into concise language what those observations are or feel self-conscious/conceited even considering disclosing my thoughts as if they're so important. However, the whole idea of blogging is pretty self-indulgent, therefore my feelings seem silly. I have been writing about my experiences for years in various forms, but recently I dunno. It all seems so trite. What a horrible thing to say. I love writing. I love writing about my feelings. I love that I can share my writing with my friends in a forum such as this, but there's something gnawing at the back of my mind. I think it's the idea of "showcasing" my writing. It feels like this selfish, one-dimensional, inane act, but it's also a wonderfully freeing and honest expression. Oh boy. I'm writing about writing again. It's just been on my mind for a while. I saw this movie about Bukowski and the flood gates broke and my need to put my experiences into words became like life or death. How dramatic haha, okay maybe not life or death, but a burning necessity. Okay. I think I've filled my emotionally draining blog post quota for this month (I'm not making any promises that I will not exceed said quota- I'm just acknowledging the emotional nature of the post).

Wow. That was really personal. Not sure if I'll ever do it again.


It looks like I did what I said I wouldn't do. What else is new... story of my life yadda yadda...




I'm out.

Out of focus

I've been racking my brain for days trying to figure out what I want my blog to be- an indescribable mass of words and wit, or a simply constructed page of easily digestible rhetoric. So far I have been leaning towards the latter for no other particular reason except I haven't felt like writing anything too heavy in fear of 1: coming off as an asshole 2: judgment 3: ridicule 4: imposing, inevitable self-loathing criticism as a result of my incapability to be completely honest. This blog, I have come to the conclusion (yes, just now), will be whatever I want it to be. I shall allow it to mold and grow into it's own entity and not worry too much about not having a focus. Focus is overrated anyway.



I'm out.