She Is Who She Is

Essence of crushed dreams sprinkle her aura like twinkling stars against a sheet of black hopelessness. She sits back on the bench in the bar, eyes closed, you could almost hear the thoughts wildly spinning in her head. There's an energy that emerges from her person, whipping you in the face- warm... too warm. Her eyes open and she speaks. She says things in rapid succession, you cannot follow everything. The nonsensical becomes a wavering, incoherent medley of sounds that you cannot enjoy or control. Berating listening ears with negativity wrapped tightly in insecurity. Pouring from her lips like liquid fire, her words burned in ways that no one could completely understand. A clusterfuck of self-destruction and malevolent intentions will her to a place unknown to some, relished by others, loathed by the rest. It's a place devoid of reason or reality, a diabolically personal manifestation of horror and disdain. Rapidly overtaking her body, threatening to unleash a fury of inexplicable, unsuspected proportions, alcohol coaxes this volatility with sweet mocking. Encouraging outrageous, perplexing behavior, the molten beverage succeeds in unleashing this incongruous person. Reeking of self-loathing and severe distress, the pungent odor of defeat stings the nostrils and burns as it enters your lungs and screams through your body. Being so close to such a strong energy depletes everyone around her. She is a walking vacuum, sucking positivity out of the air until it becomes stale and stagnant. She has been this way for as long as she can remember. With severe certainty she begins to lash out. She shrieks about her terrible life and her lack of love. She wails about the unfairness of humanity and colossal mistakes that riddle her life, inducing perpetual sadness. Then she begins projecting her insecurities onto others, images of morbid indecency lightly place themselves over the faces of others, altering their true selves, a distorted falsity that has become oh too real for her. Again she speaks with violent conviction, retorting coldly, rambling angrily, name-calling, accusing, belittling all in hopes of deceiving the pain and numbing herself. Of course, this never works and instead forces people to flee. Run away from her innumerable complexities that are divulged with overwhelming intensity when the liquor consumes her. She is someone we all know... maybe ourselves? Continuously struggling in this heartless, selfish society. She is who she is.


I'm out.

What A Reaction!

So remember how I posted that missed connections thingy? I got a few replies, one appreciating my sense of humor, the other a senseless mean-spirited critique on the event. It goes as follows...

You're not his soul-mate you were just sitting there with zero awareness. And he ran into you like a door runs into a door-stopper.
Love is free flowing. Stop being attracted to alpha males at the club!!

P.S. How big are you!? You broke his fall ! lol

1. Who is this guy?
2. Why did he feel he needed to respond with such negativity?
3. Alpha males at the club? Obviously, this guy has some issues that no amount of deprecating emails can cure.
4. It looks like we got a whiner on our hands

His email is peacepoetry, but there was nothing peaceful or poetic about that response! I don't understand how you could be mean to someone without knowing ANYTHING about them. Doesn't make sense to me. And so what if I was a big girl? What an asshole. People with issues should be banned from the internet.


I went to bus boys and poets again last night and witnessed an awesome performance by this world renowned spoken-word artist, Sonya Renee. I have to write about that experience in more detail later. Wouldn't you know it. Time crunch- AGAIN.

Until next time.