Oh how I loathe thee, oh day of love, oh day of corporate mocking. It's that much closer ladies and gentlemen, the day singles dread the most (besides wedding days), VALENTINE'S DAY. A day of monumental, overtly scathing gestures of affection that not only induce your gag reflex, but make you question your threshold for pain. Suddenly your insides start to tingle and the thought of hand holding makes you want to kick something soft and cuddly. DON'T! Believe me... don't.
We all know this holiday is just another excuse for stores to push some ridiculous, gimmicky themed crap like heart shaped sticky notes and pink EVERYTHING, so why does it still sting so much on Vday when you don't have a beau? It's because it's being thrown so obnoxiously in your face, but you know what? It's okay. It's okay to be single for a plethora of reasons. List them? Well, don't mind if I do...
10. You don't have to think up thoughtful trinkets to give your loved one on Vday, instead you can buy an entire box of chocolates and scarf them down yourself.
9. There's no need to keep that wondering eye in check, because it doesn't have to be fastened on anyone.
8. It's cheaper.
7. You don't have to check in with anyone if there is a change in plans and you wind up at a wild loft party instead of that quiet evening you said you planned with a few friends. Ooops.
6. You can sprawl out in bed without having anyone right up under you, shifting at your every move. Snorer? WHO CARES! Light sleeper? DOESN'T MATTER! Constant mover? NO PROBLEM!
5. More/better options. Out with the old, in with the new I always say... I've never actually said that in conversation... ever.
4. You don't have to worry about all these "feelings." Always talking about "feelings." Making sure these "feelings" are still there or if the "feelings" are hurt or shifting.
3. Not having to do things you would never want to do, but have to or else there will be a screaming match to rival the 100 years war.
2. You can hang out with whoever, wherever, whenever you'd like.
1. FREEDOM.
I hope this list helped. Oh and also check out this article from Gawker!
I plan on celebrating this Valentine's Day with my dates Johnny Walker and Jack D. It's okay, they know about each other.
I was going to post the obvious Beyonce song, but thought better of it- you're welcome. I've been on this Beatles kick, so why stop now?!
Happy Valentine's Day, ya'll
I'm out.
Love you so much lady. I think you, Johnny W., Jack D. and I should have a lovely double-date this Valentines day. There's no one I'd rather spend it with.
ReplyDelete(Also, my heart grew ten times larger reading this post. I like this attitude. It's a good color on you.)