Valentine's Slay

Oh how I loathe thee, oh day of love, oh day of corporate mocking. It's that much closer ladies and gentlemen, the day singles dread the most (besides wedding days), VALENTINE'S DAY. A day of monumental, overtly scathing gestures of affection that not only induce your gag reflex, but make you question your threshold for pain. Suddenly your insides start to tingle and the thought of hand holding makes you want to kick something soft and cuddly. DON'T! Believe me... don't.
We all know this holiday is just another excuse for stores to push some ridiculous, gimmicky themed crap like heart shaped sticky notes and pink EVERYTHING, so why does it still sting so much on Vday when you don't have a beau? It's because it's being thrown so obnoxiously in your face, but you know what? It's okay. It's okay to be single for a plethora of reasons. List them? Well, don't mind if I do...

10. You don't have to think up thoughtful trinkets to give your loved one on Vday, instead you can buy an entire box of chocolates and scarf them down yourself.

9. There's no need to keep that wondering eye in check, because it doesn't have to be fastened on anyone.

8. It's cheaper.

7. You don't have to check in with anyone if there is a change in plans and you wind up at a wild loft party instead of that quiet evening you said you planned with a few friends. Ooops.

6. You can sprawl out in bed without having anyone right up under you, shifting at your every move. Snorer? WHO CARES! Light sleeper? DOESN'T MATTER! Constant mover? NO PROBLEM!

5. More/better options. Out with the old, in with the new I always say... I've never actually said that in conversation... ever.

4. You don't have to worry about all these "feelings." Always talking about "feelings." Making sure these "feelings" are still there or if the "feelings" are hurt or shifting.

3. Not having to do things you would never want to do, but have to or else there will be a screaming match to rival the 100 years war.

2. You can hang out with whoever, wherever, whenever you'd like.

1. FREEDOM.


I hope this list helped. Oh and also check out this article from Gawker!

I plan on celebrating this Valentine's Day with my dates Johnny Walker and Jack D. It's okay, they know about each other.





I was going to post the obvious Beyonce song, but thought better of it- you're welcome. I've been on this Beatles kick, so why stop now?!

Happy Valentine's Day, ya'll



I'm out.

Snowpocolypse+ Valentine's Gay

In the words of my roommate and I, "It's blizzarding outside."

I love the snow. I'm a huge fan- always have been. Snow days, sledding, snow ball fights, making snow men, all activities including copious amounts of snow and wonderful friends. How could you not like snow?! Alright, I know, it could be a pain, but I love it anyhow.
I'm sitting in my apartment today watching harry potter and the half blood prince, drinking hot chocolate. We actually just braved the cold to procure cake mix and cookies. It was such an adventure, an incandescent adventure! What could be better?!



This will be my last time talking about V-day! Promise.
So Valentine's Days is ever approaching and the biting reality that I am not apart of a couple (womp womp) is slowly caving in on me in an excruciatingly, mortifyingly devastating way. Every shop window (and even freaking delis) is decorated with blood red hearts and teddy bears with little black, encroaching (almost taunting) eyes. And love songs and specials about love and people talking about love escalates to unbearable levels and all you want to do is drown it out with your own desperate screams, entreating the insanity to stop. Sigh. Maybe that's just me. I don't know what it is about Valentine's Day that really just gets on my nerves... Maybe it's the gross amount of time couples put into the impudent floundering of romantic gestures for gratification or to prove their love for each other. Maybe it's the unfortunate societal pressure that insists people need romantic relationships in order to be happy. Maybe it's because this one day spotlights people who are not involved with anyone and somehow manages to embarrass them for choosing singularity.
And now for the mad scramble of people to find dates for Valentine's Days so as not feel the inevitable sting of bachelor/bachelorette(?)-hood on the "holiday of love."
I hope the title of this post didn't offend, it's strictly in jest/humor. As a testament to my distaste for using the word "gay" in a negative context I shall post an important public announcement done by the talented and apparently socially aware Hilary Duff and comedian Wanda Sykes.



STUPID.

Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is, will you be my valentine?


Im (going) out (with you).

ha