A Tale of True Ninnies: A Story About Hope Lost via The Internet

As a result of being utterly unable to figure out where my main Internet box is I am resorting to using my iPhone to update. Why don't you go to the coffee shop next door, you're probably saying. Why don't you just go to a friend's house you're probably chuckling. Well, there is a simple, yet stupid answer for that. I've kind of always wanted to test the capacity for this here iPhone. Is it as convenient and necessary to my existence as I've always thought it to be? YES, yes it is. It's convenience is to a startling degree. I'm not sure whether I should be excited or horrified that the thought of losing it make me shudder. Definitely horrified. Anyway, it's been a while since I've updated, mainly... excuse me, SOLELY because of this whole Internet debacle. Explain the situation? Why, I would love to: A few weeks ago the Internet just decided to stop working. Thinking it was just a matter of unplugging the machine and turning it back on I did not panic. Then, after doing that oh 5 times and then frantically calling verizon I realized the problem was external. Verizon would have to send a technician to fix the problem. Sighing with relief, thinking that would only take like 15 minutes, I immediately scheduled an appointment a few days later, being off and extremely ready to get my Internet service up and running again. The technician came in the morning, poked around the router, went outside for 10 minutes, came back in and told me there was nothing he could do. "You have to find out where the main cable box is in order for me to fix it." I thought to myself, how the bloody hell would I know where that is? And yes I tend to think in a British accent. So he left with a quickness of a thousand winds and didn't look back. I remembered there was confusion when they first installed the Internet and I remembered something about them wiring it through an auto body shop behind my apartment so I call the technician and tell him that and all he says to me is "No, it's in a abandoned building by your apartment," and abruptly hangs up on me. At this point I'm furious so I call Verizon back careful to keep my temper in check because obviously it's no fault of whoever picks up the phone but of that crass a-hole know-it-all. Oh gawd, he's probably right. So the battle commences. They're telling me I have to find out where this mysterious "main box" is and I have to call them once I've found it. This search has resulted in hours of brain-cramping super sleuthing and many awkward phone calls to strangers and it's almost been 2 weeks since the Internet's stopped working. I'm at my wits end trying to resolve this insane situation. So, what I'm really asking is.... Can I use your Internet?

Sent from my iPhone



I'm out.

Canasta Anyone?

My Saturday night was painfully uneventful. It was sadistically comical. My cousin flew in from Charlottesville and her and my two aunts picked me up after an exciting day at work, filled with unnecessary self-brooding. I'm one of those people that thinks everyone hates them until proven otherwise, which is so stressful- I'm working on it. It's so annoying to be that guy. So anyway, I get in the car and immediately there is some kind of dispute. All I can do is sit back and sigh. I get home and I wind up sitting around the table with my two aunts (who I see have broken out the cards) and my cousin. Canasta, they say. Canasta. What the hell is canasta?

They tried to get my cousin and I to play, but we politely declined- the first time they asked. For some reason they continued to ask for like 15 minutes. The polite declining turned into emphatic no's. Then my aunt's sister tried to explain the rules, attempting a new persuasive technique (it didn't work). In her explanation she kept talking about melding. Melding this and melding that. I still have no idea what it is, even after looking it up. Yes i am sadly admitting to looking up the rules of freaking canasta. Never will I learn to play that game.
Amongst all the canasta hoopla my cousin was showing me the joys of comfortable heels like these

And I was trying to figure out under what circumstances I would drop $200 for shoes even if they were cole haan nike airs or whatever.
Finally, after watching them play for about an hour my cousin and i decided it was time to retire. We went upstairs and proceeded to talk about relationships...eh.

It was uncomfortable at first when we were talking about me, but i really enjoyed hearing about her relationship with this guy she's been seeing. they sound like a sitcom. loved it.
Today was ridiculously long. It was my aunt's sister's birthday which was nice. So we celebrated by going to some pier in Maryland to a seafood restaurant where I was a gluttonous heathen and ate everything i laid my eyes on. Now I have a headache. bleh. thanks body. Then we went to this hotel called the Gaylord for a drink. The hotel was really nice and my drink wasn't so bad either.

My cousin had to catch her plane so we rushed her to the airport brushing death at least twenty times on the way. She made her flight so that was good. I fell asleep in the backseat on our way back, but unfortunately woke up before we got home at which point my life flashed before my eyes five more times before we pulled into the safety of the driveway. I thank god for making it home after driving with my aunt and wonder how she manages to not get into a car accident everyday.
Entourage is on tonight. I freaking love that show.
Also, I think i may be coming closer to becoming a more jovial, socially acceptable person. I have fb to thank for that. haha nice.
Okay, I'm off.