A Tale of True Ninnies: A Story About Hope Lost via The Internet

As a result of being utterly unable to figure out where my main Internet box is I am resorting to using my iPhone to update. Why don't you go to the coffee shop next door, you're probably saying. Why don't you just go to a friend's house you're probably chuckling. Well, there is a simple, yet stupid answer for that. I've kind of always wanted to test the capacity for this here iPhone. Is it as convenient and necessary to my existence as I've always thought it to be? YES, yes it is. It's convenience is to a startling degree. I'm not sure whether I should be excited or horrified that the thought of losing it make me shudder. Definitely horrified. Anyway, it's been a while since I've updated, mainly... excuse me, SOLELY because of this whole Internet debacle. Explain the situation? Why, I would love to: A few weeks ago the Internet just decided to stop working. Thinking it was just a matter of unplugging the machine and turning it back on I did not panic. Then, after doing that oh 5 times and then frantically calling verizon I realized the problem was external. Verizon would have to send a technician to fix the problem. Sighing with relief, thinking that would only take like 15 minutes, I immediately scheduled an appointment a few days later, being off and extremely ready to get my Internet service up and running again. The technician came in the morning, poked around the router, went outside for 10 minutes, came back in and told me there was nothing he could do. "You have to find out where the main cable box is in order for me to fix it." I thought to myself, how the bloody hell would I know where that is? And yes I tend to think in a British accent. So he left with a quickness of a thousand winds and didn't look back. I remembered there was confusion when they first installed the Internet and I remembered something about them wiring it through an auto body shop behind my apartment so I call the technician and tell him that and all he says to me is "No, it's in a abandoned building by your apartment," and abruptly hangs up on me. At this point I'm furious so I call Verizon back careful to keep my temper in check because obviously it's no fault of whoever picks up the phone but of that crass a-hole know-it-all. Oh gawd, he's probably right. So the battle commences. They're telling me I have to find out where this mysterious "main box" is and I have to call them once I've found it. This search has resulted in hours of brain-cramping super sleuthing and many awkward phone calls to strangers and it's almost been 2 weeks since the Internet's stopped working. I'm at my wits end trying to resolve this insane situation. So, what I'm really asking is.... Can I use your Internet?

Sent from my iPhone



I'm out.

CRASH!

Literally.

Last weekend had to be the most surreal experience of my 22 years on this sweet sweet earth. On my way to meet up with friends I was hit by a taxi and rushed to the emergency room. I have no recollection of the event and have no desire to remember my body coming into contact with a three ton vehicle. For some reason people thing that's odd. I think they're odd.

As a result of this near tragic event my family has become even more terrified of my independence and (ir)responsibility. It was a mistake, a lapse in judgment. I don't blame them for being anxious, but it's hard enough going through this traumatic experience without your family judging you. Eh, I'll live. I mean... I'm living. oh geez. That's another thing. I'm uncomfortably calm about what happened to me. I didn't see any flashing lights or experience euphoria. There were no strokes of genius or life-changing ideas that sprung into my head while I was in the hospital. I just had the overwhelming desire to be outside in the clean cool air and away from the sick, decrepit stench of that hospital room. I am so lucky to be alive, there is no denying that, but I don't value life any more than I did before the accident. I have been in love with life for a while now, and continue to love life.

I felt I should write about the accident, but I'm kind of embarrassed by my lack of life-changing exuberance.

I'm alive.

I am ecstatic to be alive.

I love my life and everyone in it. I really do!




I'm out.