BK Love

So remember I said I didn't want to talk about dating in my blog? I lied. I lied straight to your face without batting an eye. I'm sorry.

Against everything that I hold true and dear I recently made an OkCupid profile in hopes of meeting new people, not necessarily my knight in shining armor, but maybe a hipster on a fixed gear- I'm kidding. Seriously though, I had no idea what I was getting myself into as I mindlessly jotted down my interests and racked my brain for (not so) obscure musical artists and books to make me sound hip and cool.

My first day on it I discovered a slew of unhappy guys who are tired of vapid, shallow women who apparently carry-on conversations solely about handbags and shoes. I wasn't sure if I should be offended or laugh at their chauvinism, but then I thought, hm girls like this do exist. They come in Urban all the time, laughing hysterically about guys they date and asking their friends if "this shirt makes me look fat." However, I cannot fully sympathize with these gentlemen for the sheer fact that they should be old enough to discern what kind of woman would better suit them. They're not 12 year old boys, seeing girls for the first time and going after the first one to sustain eye contact with them for over 3 seconds- or maybe they are and that's their problem. This one guy's profile was completely full of an instructional guide for woman looking for the "right guy." He explained that every girl on OkCupid had the same profile and suggested ways to jazz it up. Although it was well written and I don't think it was suppose to be offensive or malicious, there was an underlying patronizing tone that I did not appreciate.

Anyway, back to me.

I joined almost a week ago and have been changing my profile like my life depends on it. Fixing a sentence here, adding snark there, trying to encapsulate myself in words without sounding like a raving lunatic or an obnoxious douche-bag. It's really a lot harder than you think. No, wait. I think we all know how hard it is to write a profile. Ugh. Finally, I have stopped changing it. It's all a gamble I'm beginning to realize.

In other news...

I think I got a promotion at Urbs so I'm happy about that. Still meeting exciting new people, super happy about THAT. Summer rocks.

Umbrellas provided by Dallas BBQ. Pic taken by Z Dubbs. Fun was had. Oh and this is after Travis cut Brandon's rat tail... it was an event to remember.


EXPECT MORE UPDATES!! I FINALLY HAVE INTERNETTTTT WOOOOOO!!!


I'm out.

♥

Moldy Peaches- Nothing Came out

Just because I don't say anything
Doesn't mean I don't like you
I open my mouth and I try and I try
But no words came out

Without 40 ounces of social skills
I'm just an ass in the crack of humanity
I'm just a huge manatee
A huge manatee

And besides, you're probably holding hands
With some skinny, pretty girl
That likes to talk about bands
And all I want to do is ride bikes with you
And stay up late and watch cartoons

DuckTales, Shirt-Tails, TaleSpin, Sailor Moon
GI Joe, Robotech, Ron Jeremy, Shmoo

I want to watch cartoons with you
Josie and the Pussycats and Scooby-Doo
I want you to watch cartoons with me
He-man, Voltron, and Hong Kong Phooey

I tried to ask you to your face
But no words came out
Put on my hood and walked away
That doesn't mean I don't like you

And besides you're probably holding hands
With some skinny pretty girl
That likes to talk about bands
And all I want to do is ride bikes with you
And stay up late and maybe spoon

Just because I don't say anything
Doesn't mean I don't like you, no
I opened my mouth and I tried and I tried
And besides, you're probably holding hands
With some skinny pretty girl
That likes to talk about bands
And all I want to do is ride bikes with you
And stay up late and watch cartoons

I'm just your average Thundercats ho!


This song just about sums up my last failed attempt at dating. Alright, so it's a bit of a stretch and I'm taking some liberties. Eh, it's close enough ha

I'm out.

Hey, you're weird.

Alright guys and dolls. I have been meeting quite a few people while living here in the BK, and I must say either 1. A majority of them have been apprehensive to pursue friendships for whatever neurosis they have, 2. Have been incredibly awkward/said really offensive, off-putting things, or 3. HAVE BEEN PLAIN FREAKING WEIRD. Is it in the water? Am I going to catch this inexplicable weirdness, too? Gosh, I hope not. I was just speaking to a good friend of mine about how hard it is to make friends. At this point in our lives are we so set in our own ideals that we can't branch out and meet people who don't share our EXACT SAME interests?! What are we... 85?! I still love going out and meeting people, don't get me wrong, but now I'm not so easily distracted by the novelty of strangers. I am more wary of people I don't know because they are all POTENTIAL NUT JOBS! So, yeah.
I remember going out to Barcade one night and meeting this girl I thought was totally cool so I was like let's exchange numbers and hang out. BAD IDEA. Come to find out this crazy girl has some SERIOUS issues. Without prompt she brought up some kinky sexual preferences she had (she said she preferred guys "dicks" but loved "tits" and wished she could have both- I by no means was offended by her desires, but extremely shocked that she would tell a complete stranger this), laughing hysterically after.She kept bringing up the fact she was Irish and proceeded to tell a very racist joke, telling me not to be offended- the joke: What does a black kid get for their birthday: PUNCHLINE: Your bike. Really?! How incredibly stupid. Um. CRAZY. At another place, I was with my friend and his boyfriend and we were all talking, sitting at the bar, and this other guy comes up to us and starts to hit on my friend's boyfriend- knowing he's taken! Telling us his boyfriend and him are having troubles, spilling his relationship details to an audience he met 5 minutes prior. WTF CRAZIES?! Oi. I just don't understand the audacity of people to just say whatever they want without consideration for others.

Oh and dating. Uuuuhhh guuuuuhhhhh. Yup, I swore I'd never talk about it on my blog, but it has to be the most confusing, awkward social experience(?). It's funny because no matter how many people I ask for advice I get the same answers, "I don't know," "I have no idea," "I'm confused, too." No one can seem to crack the shell of this age old human interaction. What does it all mean? Why do we put ourselves through it, knowing the result- more confusion and frustration. I think I'm just not cut out to date. Hanging out with my friends is just so much less stressful and not potentially mortifying... well, sometimes. Also, I wish people would just be honest. None of these lame excuses- just say what you feel. We're all adults here, right? Geebus. I'm not talking about one experience bee tee dubbs, but my general (mis)understanding of dating.
Can we just be friends? So much less pressure. Hate it. I think I'm gonna be a recluse with 96794875934 cats and imaginary friends.

I need to get out of the city. I need some good ol' nature. Somebody take me camping.

pretty please?!





I'm out.

Town and Such

TOWN.
I wanted to dance, and boy did I cut a rug when I went there. It was so much fun!

It was late and I was in bed when I got that tempting phone call, "I'm going to Town tonight, just wanted to know if you wanna come?" My immediate reaction was to toss the covers back over my head and pass out until morning, but there was something telling me not to let this potentially awesome outing slip through my fingertips. So I went. Walking there in a dreamy haze, I began to question my sanity. After all, I had work at 8:30 am the next day. Whatevs. It was worth it. I danced like my life depended on it, like if my feet stopped moving so would my heart. Yeah, pretty intense. The drinks though were RIDICULOUSLY expensive annnd the bar tender totally liked my guy friend more than me and made him stronger drinks- ass. My wallet was not happy that night, but I most certainly got happy haha. The music was really fun and loud, I also really liked the smoking area outside. There were lots of interesting people out there just yapping away to anyone who would listen. Awesome. I also did not escape the conversation that usually emerges when people are drunk- race. Shit, I dread it. It's something I always expect to come up, though, for one reason or another. My friend was telling me I wasn't "ghetto." No, I didn't roll my eyes at his assertion, nor did I get upset at the obviously prejudice overtone, but I did listen. I listened to what he had to say and I responded accordingly, "I'm me." I've battled with what that meant for a long time, and at this point in my life I'm pretty happy with who I am. So, comments like that usually don't affect me, and by no means do I judge the people who make them. I've taken enough race courses, not to mention have numerous experiences of my own, that have allowed me to be objective and understanding towards other people's perceptions of race, because that's all race is- perception, at least I think so. However, don't get me wrong, sometimes it gets tiring hearing how "white" I am haha.
whew, anyway, did I mention, I was sooooo stoked to finally go dancing! FINALLY haha, Recap: I met some really fun people, had the inevitable (drunk) talk about race, and got groped by a stranger, all in all it was a fantastic night.

In other news...

Work still blows. I am looking for apartments, which is proving to be a lot easier than I anticipated. I'm going to see two today. SAWEEET! Plus, I'm still looking for a big people job. C'mon, college degree, don't fail me now.

I have been avidly reading other people's blogs lately and there's one blog I find absolutely hilarious called Dating is My Hobby, where this girl chronicles her dating (mis)adventures. I, for one, think dating is weird and scary and hearing about the awkward, downright uncomfortable situations she deals with cements my apprehension towards the strange process, but I also feel like it's kind of inevitable...?
I shudder at the thought of that date I went on a few months ago. I didn't even know it was a date until it was too late haha. Gah, I hope I'm not the only person bewildered by the subject. Someone out there shares my perplexity, I know it!

I have an annoyingly busy schedule next week, but I will not let work consume me!
I'm ferociously hungry right now, it's pretty out of control. My stomach is totally eating itself...ewwww.

Adams Morgan Day today, I'm going to try to go exploring and see what all the hoopla's about. Hopefully I'll make it out there at a reasonable time. Plus, it's beautiful out today! I LOVE FALL.





I'm out.

Cheers! To New Beginnings!

So this is my new blog I've decided to create because my other blog needs to be more focused on fashion and not so much on my life. This blog however can be as self-indulgent as I like =)

So, I'm 22 and trying to figure out where my place is in this crazy world. Trying not to get consumed by all the chaos and the confusing natures of others/myself. People are continuously baffling me in both positive and negative ways, which is fantastic, because it's fuel for this blog haha.
I have relocated from New York to little ol Northern VA, which isn't so little, but is relatively old, and I'm working at

trying to piece my life together. I love NY, don't get me wrong. It's the city of my dreams with its rough and rugged appeal and beautiful disarray, but after a startling reality check (NYC is effing expensive), I decided that maybe now is not the time to attempt to live in a closet in Crown Heights in hopes of finding something better. I needed a change anyway, it will help with my writing and whatnot I suppose. Being in Northern VA is not so bad, though.
I've been enjoying lots of new experiences here, like my first date after years. It was a lackluster occasion, but of sitcom proportions. The both of us were baffled by how we could have missed what an unlikely pairing we made. He was dead set on being a successful businessman, while I was content with the notion of being a starving artist. He was super nice though. Someone I could see myself being friends with and learning a lot from, but as far as a relationship beyond that? Absolutely not.
I was going on this date thinking it was strictly platonic, but then he kept bringing up the fact I could still be in love with my ex-boyfriend, which made me extremely uncomfortable. He told me the girls he usually dated were blonde and high maintenance, I told him I was into artistic guys, and he could see I was neither blonde nor high maintenance. We stood there at a standstill, fishing for awkward conversation as I knocked back a tall dark beer (he hates dark beer, i love it). I wouldn't even let him pay for my drink. I felt bad because we were going to go to jazz in the park but it was getting late so he drove all this way only to turn back around from the direction we left, so i paid for his beer. I'm pretty sure I bruised his ego, but he seems to be a resilient kind of guy. He told me he has a lot of confidence in himself which I thought was interesting because... well, I won't get into it, but he was no brad pitt, let's leave it at that. Good for him though! I wish I could have that much confidence in myself (ha, that sounds so contrived-but it's not!)
He told me about his sordid past and his philosophy on people: Everyone has baggage, it's what they do with it that makes the person. I thought that was such an interesting concept on feeling people out. Baggage usually has negative connotations, but in what he was telling me, it was merely a driving force. Maybe baggage wasn't the right word, but I understood what he meant and was intrigued by the idea.
OH!!! And his exit strategy was, "My roommate's mom is coming into the airport at 10:30 [which later changed to 11:30 when our conversation picked up] and I want to go with him to pick her up." Whatever. It was cool. So when he left I sat at the table laughing to myself at what an awkward situation I put myself in without even realizing it. What a fool I was, but it was a learning experience. It's about time I jumped back up on the dating horse.
Sigh. I need friends. I don't know anything about this area and the lack of social interaction with my peers I feel will have an irreversible adverse affect on my future relationships with people. Working at Urban is helpful though. I'm meeting people there. This ought to be an interesting new chapter in my life.
Well, that's enough for today, the angle i'm typing at is starting to pain my body.
Until next time.