Helloooo NY!!!

I'm baaack!

Packing for my move was so strange. Everything that I experienced and lived in VA was also getting packed away in a different sense, and as I folded clothes and shoved books into my book bag I began to grasp the infallible change that has occurred within me these last months. It really has been like a story, with a definitive beginning, middle, and end along with rising action, klymaxx (haha), and all the rest. And what an extraordinary ending. I left on such a fantastic note.
So here's my life in VA packed away in suitcases and such...

Note how uneasily neat everything appears. It reminds me of Nietzsche's Appolinian/Dionysian feuding dualities. A violently raging, chaotic reality beneath an appearance of perfect serenity.

After months of rehabilitation and self-discovery I find myself back where I started, in the place where it all began- a slowly deteriorating house in Yonkers. Being here makes me feel strange. Not exactly like I'm reverting back to who/what I was before, but a certain sinking feeling, like staying here for any extended amount of time (more than 3 days) will eventually lead to self-destruction. Luckily, I am not staying here, but moving into my apartment in Brooklyn. However, when that is has not been discussed which makes me a tad nervous and slightly irritated. Alas, I cannot complain for my family has been such an extraordinarily dependable entity in my life.

For these past months I have been slightly withdrawn from certain emotional connections for (to me) obvious reasons, but have since shed that defense mechanism because though being numb is sometimes necessary, being in a constant state of aloofness is just plain unhealthy. Though I thought I was protecting myself, there was something I knew was missing. I wasn't entirely whole because I kept myself from feeling. Gah, I love learning. Isn't life awesome?!


And now I am ready to take on the big city! There are so many things I want to realistically accomplish, so again I'm planning and executing. You can call me the executioner (only if you so desire).

I shall leave you with a song I am currently infatuated with...

I LOVE THEM.


I'm out.

It's up to you New York, NY

Alright. I've been bumbling around this city for a few months now and I must say I have thoroughly enjoyed what DC has to offer, but more and more I am wondering if spending a year here is what I really want.

I have met a ton of really awesome people. People with good hearts and great minds that have shared their lives with me =) It's good to know I have friends here!

However, there is this itching I can't ignore. This feeling buried beneath my happiness. A discomfort. An uneasiness. A question. What can DC offer me? As a "writer," whatever that means, NY just seems like the best place for me. Politics is what runs the district, hands down, and for a while I was trying to find a niche for myself amidst health care reform and various other significant political battles, but have been unsuccessful. I like politics, but having a career in the field does not stir up any awe-inspiring feelings. I'm a wayward soul haha I'm just restless here. I need my city. I miss my city.



So I'm going back.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen I am returning to the NYC after months of serious deliberation and an accumulation of amazing experiences. I have a plan. All I have to do is execute it! I even have a deadline! I'm so ready.

I'm not sure how everything just clicked, but it did. NY.



I love you.


I'm out.