Will You Be My Friend?

My mother was in town which put an abrupt halt to the festivities last weekend was to entail. At first I was a little irritable, as EVERYONE decided to have parties that very weekend, but the feeling was fleeting because well my mom's awesome. Sigh. She bought me enough food to feed a third world country and enough paper products to stock an elementary school for a year. In her absence, I have been feeling a pang of homesickness that has not shown itself EVER. However, the sickness is not really for home, but for my family, though the warm Miami weather does not hurt.

Anyway, enough about that. I want to talk about meeting people online. At first the entire concept horrified me, made me want to runaway screaming, bleeding from the eyes... I've been watching way too many horror movies...ok, just Pan's Labyrinth.
Anyway, the whole idea of meeting up with people on the internet has been instilled in us since we were young as being not only dangerous but incredibly stupid. However, sometime within the last 5-10 years this idea shifted from "DON'T EVER DO IT!" to, "Eh, if they don't seem too psychotic and you meet in a public place, I guess it's alright." What made this change? Obviously the social media explosion and our dying ability to go out and meet people in person- COLD, with no chitty chat behind the comfort of your computer screen before hand. Though, it's convenience is not to be ignored. Like I said in an earlier post, it's hard to meet people, but by being online some of that nasty pressure is relieved and gives a bit more leeway for honesty, or straight up lying. Sigh. I guess that argument can truly go both ways- a blessing and a curse. It's interesting to see whether or not any lasting relationships will come of it... in my case. I have friends that have found significant others online, but my curiosity lies in the question of "Can you make friends online?" We shall see, I suppose. Ought to be interesting. Hope I don't get killed in the process.


Random Note: I would like to thank Portlandia and, subsequently, YouTube for turning me on to Washed Out and Air France. Also, I would like to thank my upstairs neighbors for being kind enough to lend their Internet for a bit. Thank you. Adieu.



I'm out.

A Tale of True Ninnies: A Story About Hope Lost via The Internet

As a result of being utterly unable to figure out where my main Internet box is I am resorting to using my iPhone to update. Why don't you go to the coffee shop next door, you're probably saying. Why don't you just go to a friend's house you're probably chuckling. Well, there is a simple, yet stupid answer for that. I've kind of always wanted to test the capacity for this here iPhone. Is it as convenient and necessary to my existence as I've always thought it to be? YES, yes it is. It's convenience is to a startling degree. I'm not sure whether I should be excited or horrified that the thought of losing it make me shudder. Definitely horrified. Anyway, it's been a while since I've updated, mainly... excuse me, SOLELY because of this whole Internet debacle. Explain the situation? Why, I would love to: A few weeks ago the Internet just decided to stop working. Thinking it was just a matter of unplugging the machine and turning it back on I did not panic. Then, after doing that oh 5 times and then frantically calling verizon I realized the problem was external. Verizon would have to send a technician to fix the problem. Sighing with relief, thinking that would only take like 15 minutes, I immediately scheduled an appointment a few days later, being off and extremely ready to get my Internet service up and running again. The technician came in the morning, poked around the router, went outside for 10 minutes, came back in and told me there was nothing he could do. "You have to find out where the main cable box is in order for me to fix it." I thought to myself, how the bloody hell would I know where that is? And yes I tend to think in a British accent. So he left with a quickness of a thousand winds and didn't look back. I remembered there was confusion when they first installed the Internet and I remembered something about them wiring it through an auto body shop behind my apartment so I call the technician and tell him that and all he says to me is "No, it's in a abandoned building by your apartment," and abruptly hangs up on me. At this point I'm furious so I call Verizon back careful to keep my temper in check because obviously it's no fault of whoever picks up the phone but of that crass a-hole know-it-all. Oh gawd, he's probably right. So the battle commences. They're telling me I have to find out where this mysterious "main box" is and I have to call them once I've found it. This search has resulted in hours of brain-cramping super sleuthing and many awkward phone calls to strangers and it's almost been 2 weeks since the Internet's stopped working. I'm at my wits end trying to resolve this insane situation. So, what I'm really asking is.... Can I use your Internet?

Sent from my iPhone



I'm out.

formspring.me

Go wild. Ok, not too wild. http://formspring.me/CrisisScarlett

hi babe are you on any other social networking internet site?

ALL OF THEM. You name it, i got it... um, babe? yikes.

Ask me anything

Brooklyn, why are you so lonely?

In this growing age of social networking and online-media based relationship building it's kind of hard to understand the disconnect amongst people when in social settings, i.e. bars. I remember walking into Union Pool the other day observing people, seeing unbridled loneliness seep from their eyes with pathetic certainty. It's a state people are used to, I suppose. Looking for the next person to fill a void in their ever-growing confounded hearts. What can be done about the loneliness? This incessant, unrelenting profoundly infuriating reality is something I have been thinking about for quite some time now. I have figured out it's not just my own manic predilection that is feeding into these thoughts. It's not some wild delusion. Many people have voiced their concerns with being able to meet people and not just romantically, but the entire process of meeting people seems to be convoluted and daunting. There's really no conclusion I could come up with to remedy the whole situation. It's all to do with individuals and not being a prisoner of fear and rejection. I dunno... it's just something that's been on my mind...


Shudder.


I'm out.

Life, Time, and Sleep

It's unnerving what a job can do to you. It's frustrating to see the very core of yourself shifting solely because of a dream that seems to just be fading rapidly in front of your eyes. It's mind-numbing how your entire day can be a ceaseless string of monotonous, painfully futile events that involve other people's conceit and incorrigible ability to be the sloppiest, most uncaring individuals. It's terrifying for me to see myself turning into a shadow of a thought in my mind- violently swirling with confusion. I need a change.

Life is amazing. I love Life, but right now Life is not reciprocating. Right now Life seems to be in constant motion, fleeing as far from Reason and Sanity as it can go, taking Time with it. Well, NO MORE! Life, you bring your wayward tuchus back here, calm down, and sort yourself out. I need Time, Life, okay? Time and I need each other in this trying period and right now? Well,right now you, Life, are being very stingy with Time. Time needs to be free and let itself just go. Time might just want to slow down and enjoy things, but you Life, you're always on the go! Life, I'm just trying to help you out. Together, we can do this. Life, Time, can I call you Lifetime? You belong to me and I need you to know that I expect great things out of you, okay? So let's do this. And while we're having this little heart to heart let's also try and give Sleep another shot, huh? I mean, it won't hurt anyone.

Man, I need Sleep.



Dedicated to a new and improved Life. ♥


I'm out.

Valentine's Slay

Oh how I loathe thee, oh day of love, oh day of corporate mocking. It's that much closer ladies and gentlemen, the day singles dread the most (besides wedding days), VALENTINE'S DAY. A day of monumental, overtly scathing gestures of affection that not only induce your gag reflex, but make you question your threshold for pain. Suddenly your insides start to tingle and the thought of hand holding makes you want to kick something soft and cuddly. DON'T! Believe me... don't.
We all know this holiday is just another excuse for stores to push some ridiculous, gimmicky themed crap like heart shaped sticky notes and pink EVERYTHING, so why does it still sting so much on Vday when you don't have a beau? It's because it's being thrown so obnoxiously in your face, but you know what? It's okay. It's okay to be single for a plethora of reasons. List them? Well, don't mind if I do...

10. You don't have to think up thoughtful trinkets to give your loved one on Vday, instead you can buy an entire box of chocolates and scarf them down yourself.

9. There's no need to keep that wondering eye in check, because it doesn't have to be fastened on anyone.

8. It's cheaper.

7. You don't have to check in with anyone if there is a change in plans and you wind up at a wild loft party instead of that quiet evening you said you planned with a few friends. Ooops.

6. You can sprawl out in bed without having anyone right up under you, shifting at your every move. Snorer? WHO CARES! Light sleeper? DOESN'T MATTER! Constant mover? NO PROBLEM!

5. More/better options. Out with the old, in with the new I always say... I've never actually said that in conversation... ever.

4. You don't have to worry about all these "feelings." Always talking about "feelings." Making sure these "feelings" are still there or if the "feelings" are hurt or shifting.

3. Not having to do things you would never want to do, but have to or else there will be a screaming match to rival the 100 years war.

2. You can hang out with whoever, wherever, whenever you'd like.

1. FREEDOM.


I hope this list helped. Oh and also check out this article from Gawker!

I plan on celebrating this Valentine's Day with my dates Johnny Walker and Jack D. It's okay, they know about each other.





I was going to post the obvious Beyonce song, but thought better of it- you're welcome. I've been on this Beatles kick, so why stop now?!

Happy Valentine's Day, ya'll



I'm out.